It is interesting that what makes you worry is the same thing that stops you from living your life to the fullest. It is moving into the future or moving out of the moment. Living in the present can be a present to someone who is living with fear, worry or anxiety.
Worries, fears and anxieties come from thoughts of the past or future. In separating yourself from these thoughts you are able to replace them with a more positive or peaceful way of being. The same principles are used to end the effects of anxiety and master your life.
Children can get into a way of seeing the world that brings them unwanted feelings. This may come from having parents who grew up with fear or anxiety or from other beliefs that they have formed.
Parents may fear they are not offering everything they can to their children. They may fear for the future success of their children or for the safety of their children. This shows that you are a concerned parent and want the best for your child. This desire, tools and some consistency will allow your children to move away from anxiety and enjoy the moments in their life.
When my son was in grade two he missed more than half of the school year because he was to anxious to participate or even attend. I realized that both my husband and I grew up feeling quite anxious. My husband felt like he really needed to protect our children and keep them safe and I never wanted to put our children in a situation where they felt uncomfortable for fear of them experiencing difficult feelings.
It wasn’t easy but the first thing we did was to confront our own fears and get ourselves into a place of personal strength so we could be supportive. At the same time we found ways to help him live in the present.
He is now in grade eight, living without anxiety as a self proclaimed positive tween. He has a few remarkable insights on the topic: I always knew that I didn’t have to worry but I didn’t know how, I know that life just keeps getting better and better and what is the worst that can happen?
The first step to any change that you want to see in life is awareness and as a parent you must start with looking at your self. You can do this by answering these questions: Why am I concerned about my child’s worries, fear or anxiety? Where do these concerns come from? What can I change so I am not projecting these feelings onto my child? How can I grow?
The next step is to look at your child and your hopes for them and you can do this by asking these questions: How is this affecting my child’s life? How do I want my child to feel?
Equipped with this information you have put yourself in a place where you can make some change. There are so many tools that you can use to separate yourself from these thoughts and worries including: becoming aware of them, mindfulness, separating your worry brain, changing your focus to a fun challenge, and increasing your positive energy throughout the day.
You can raise your positive energy throughout the day with any relaxation technique, by exercising, listening to music or by doing an energy exercise. Here is a link to a 17 second energy exercise video that helps by getting your energy moving across your body:
Kaeli Van Regan is the founder of Living Inside Out. I combine my love of life and nature with education in Child and Youth Work, Life Coaching and Energy Healing to provide coaching to expand yourself and uplift your family. I live in beautiful Old Ottawa East with my husband and three children. There are tips and tools on the website www.livinginsideout.ca with a lot more coming in the next couple of months as information comes out about my upcoming book and program Parenting Your Way.