Making Valentine's Day special

by Vicky A few weeks ago I put a simple note in Joel's lunch box, just saying that he was a great little boy and that I was proud of him! I got a note in his agenda that evening saying he was extremely happy and proud of the note. It made his day. So much that his teacher took the time to tell me about it!

With that in mind, I'm determined to make this Valentine's Day extra special for my kids! Valentines Day is a wonderful opportunity to help your kids learn about kindness and appreciation.  It's also a chance to remind them of just how special they are and how much they are loved! Here's are some of the things that I have planned. It's a big list, and I'm not sure if we'll get through them all!

-heart shaped pancakes for breakfast, with strawberries and whip cream (I bought a heart shaped cookie cutter from the dollar store). -send Joel to school/daycare wearing red! -make a special Valentine to give to Joel's teacher (which we've already done) -send Valentines for the kids in his class -cut his sandwich into a heart -a special note in his lunch box-bake cookies together to give to our friends (we'll do this a few days before) -put fresh cut flowers on the dinner table -put a small votive candle next to every-one's place setting at the table -serve milk in wine glasses -take a family photo! We don't do this often enough, and with the timer on my camera really there's no excuse not to!-play a game together as a family -talk about how important it is to be kind to one another, and ask the kids for examples of how they are kind. -read Valentines Day books at bed time - here are some in our collection: The Biggest Valentine Ever by Steven Kroll If you'll be my Valentine, by Cynthia Rylant Clifford's first Valentine's Day by  Norman Bridwell

What are your ideas for making Valentine's Day special for your kids?

Vicky is the mom to 4 year old son named Joel and 1 year old daughter named Mieka. You can read her blog at blog Some Kind of Mom.

Kids in the Capital is conducting a survey this week to learn more about our readers and better understand what kind of information you’d like to see here.  Please take 5 minutes to answer, and you’ll be entered into a draw for a free photo from Sara McConnell Photography at the Red, White and Love event on February 12. Click here to take survey

First Trip to the Dentist

by Erin A trip to the Dentist can be an anxiety filled experience for the many of us.  So how do we prepare our children for a successful first visit? Here are a few tips that worked for us:

1)      Get there early...but not too early. Make sure you give yourself time to fill out paperwork and let your little one get settled in the waiting room (with a book or toy from home).  Don’t arrive so early that you spend too much time waiting – this can cause anxiety and increase the chances of seeing another child who is unhappy.

2)      Book the appointment for your child’s best time of day. If they are still napping in the afternoon, opt for a morning appointment.

3)      Talk up the Dentist. Hubby and I would occasionally inject comments about “how cool the Dentist is” into conversation in the weeks leading up to the appointment.

4)      Practice. When brushing teeth with your child make sure to do a very thorough job – take a little longer than usual in the days leading up to the appointment.

5)      Look at pictures.  Search for pictures of dental offices online and then look at them with your child. Use the pictures to discuss the visit from start to finish.

Last month Miss K had her first visit to the Dentist. We go to Deschênes-Poitras Family Dental Centre (www.visitourdentalfamily.ca) in Stittsville.  I have been going there for a few years now and I knew it would be a great place for the kids to go as well. Their large waiting room has an amazing play house and the treatment rooms are equipped with kid size table and chairs. More importantly, the staff has always been very professional and caring.

Despite the preparation, Hubby and I set our expectations pretty low as Miss K tends to be pretty nervous about things like this. To our shock and amazement she was a champ through the entire visit. Our hygienist was really awesome! She took her time and explained all of the tools she would be using in a kid friendly way.  Miss K’s favourite was “Mr. Slurpee” – the suction tool. She then proceeded slowly through the entire cleaning, explaining just the right amount to keep Miss K relaxed.

Dr. Poitras was kind enough to answer a few questions that were on my mind prior to our first visit:

At what age should a child first visit the dentist? "We like to see them between the ages of  18-24 months to have them get comfortable with the environment and to have a very quick look to see if there is anything out of the ordinary.  Actual hygiene treatments start between 3 and 4 years of age."

How do we introduce flossing to small children?

"Well it's quite easy.  Since children follow the monkey see monkey do mentality and since parents floss every night (wink, wink), all you need to do is floss your teeth and they will want to do the same.  Let them play with it, they will not damage anything.  Then tell them that mom or dad just wants to check and then you could floss for them afterwards.  Floss picks work well.  You should try this at about the same time as their first successful hygiene appointment, where the motivation of the appointment could be carried through at home."

Before bed Miss K had a question “Can I go to the Dentist again tomorrow?” Success!

Do you have any tips or experiences to share?

Erin is mom to 3 year old “Miss K” and 1 year old “Mister J”. You can read her blog at My Suburban Adventure

A winter getaway with kids? It's all in the preparation. (Part II)

by Shawna …Here’s the rest of the post on packing for a trip south with the little ones this year. It’s continued from yesterday.

In terms of getting there and back, it is highly advisable to have snacks, drinks and amusements for the kids (at the time of this writing, bottles/sippy cups for small kids are allowed through security). Get thee to a dollar store and find a small cache of cheap plastic toys, stickers, paper, and crayons that are new to them, then only pull one or two out per hour, per kid. Happy Meal toys are good for this sort of thing too. If you have cheap headphones, they’ll work in most airline sockets and save you from shelling out for them once you’re in the air.

Other basics to bring in your carry-on? Money, a pen for filling out customs forms in both directions, travel Kleenex, a camera, chargers for the camera and any other electronics you’re bringing.

Age dependent: diapers (more than you think you’ll need if you’re going to a place they may be hard to buy like Cuba), wipes, bottles and a bottle brush and dish soap (I didn’t have to bother with this when my kids were breastfeeding, but now at 2.5 my son likes a bottle of milk at bedtime), and formula if you use it.

I get migraines. My husband gets motion sickness. My kids have allergies. Ergo, we travel with a small pharmacy of first aid stuff. Even without any known allergies being a factor, it does not hurt to travel with a small Ziploc bag containing kids meds (we take children’s versions of Advil, Tylenol, Benadryl, Gravol, and an anti-diarrhoea medication), plus kid-friendly bug repellent, afterbite, bandaids and Polysporin. Another Ziploc gets adult versions of similar meds which come in more compact pill form, plus Lactaid so I can indulge in all the chocolate banana milkshakes I want to (hey, I don’t drink, I’ve gotta indulge somehow right?)

I believe I mentioned my son’s allergy? This year I’ve ordered waterproof stickers with clear symbols and text indicating he can’t eat eggs, and I’m going to slap one on the back of his shirt every day. You can get stickers and even temporary tattoos at a bunch of places online if your child has a severe allergy you think people might need to know about.

You’re hoping for warmth and sun, yes? In addition to the obvious light clothes, don’t forget sunblock, hats, sunglasses, and light clothes to cover up your pasty Northern skin during the height of the day. And lead by example and use this stuff yourself too; it’s not just your kids that can get sunburns. And whether you have a pool or a beach, chances are very good that if you forget your swimsuit (like my husband did one year), you’ll be able to buy new one… but you will feel kind of foolish when your significant other mocks you during the packing session every year after that. A minimum of two swimsuits per person is good so that one can be drying while the other’s in use. Special considerations for young kids: inflatable toys take very little room; good-fitting lifejackets take a lot of room but, for us, are worth the peace of mind on a beach with high waves. Label them with a waterproof marker though ‘cause those suckers are expensive. You also might need/want water shoes if you’re going to a place with a slippery pool deck or a rocky beach. We took them last year but won’t bother this round. I always bring a thin canvas tote bag that squashes to nothing in the suitcase but is nice for carrying snacks, a camera (in yet another Ziploc), and other supplies to and from poolside/the beach.

Kids are messy. And they don’t just spill stuff on themselves. A small amount of laundry soap and/or a stain-removing pen can come in handy and mean you don’t have to bring a mountain of clean clothes. And while our toddler doesn’t want to wear a bib anymore, we have a special clip that can basically turn any napkin into a bib. The same effect could be had with a piece of string and two plastic clothespins.

Do some research on where you’re going and think about whether you will be doing any excursions. Kids old enough to hike up Dunn’s River Falls? Water shoes! Traveling to an area with malaria? Talk to your doctor about whether you’d need to take meds for it (tip: if the answer is "yes" you might want to reconsider this as a good family destination). Good snorkelling right off your hotel’s beach? You may want your own mask and fins, even if they can be borrowed/rented on site. Want to play golf? Clubs are easily rented, but if you don’t have the proper attire for the golf course you might not get to play. Think you’ll be taking a lot of ground transport? Consider whether to take a car seat or not. Do you need an adapter for the plugs in the country you’ll be visiting? A charger isn’t much good if it can’t be plugged in. Our hotel offers arts and crafts sessions that include tie-dyeing, ergo we bring some cheap white t-shirts, or even give some new life to old and slightly stained white/light clothing that still fits the kids.

Most resorts have at least one dining area that’s a bit more posh and requires more formal dress so long pants for men and a skirt or dress for women will likely come in handy. Light, easy-packing fabrics are nice. Don’t bother going overboard on shoes though, unless such things are important to you. I wear my runners onto the plane, and pack one pair of sturdy sandals for general use and one pair of light, cheap flip-flops to get me between my room and the pool & beach. And speaking of “wearing onto the plane”, I wear a hoodie or sweater under a rain jacket and leave my winter coat at home. In transit we’re going between warm house, warm car or cab, and warm airport. Light shorts go into our carry-on and we change before we start the drive from the airport to the hotel.

And, or course, don’t forget the basics too like underwear, shirts, shorts, and toothbrushes & toiletries!

I know this seems like a huge list, but believe me, it takes up less space than you’d think. Young kids go through the most clothes but their stuff is smaller so it doesn’t take a lot of room, and even adult shorts and t-shirts are pretty compact when you roll them up to pack them. I spend most of my time in my swimsuits and cover-ups and have no qualms about using the same dress for dinner for half the time I’m there unless I spill something on myself the kids spill something on me. I don’t even take more than one pair of clean socks since I’m in sandals almost the whole time.

In the end, for our family of four, we typically take two suitcases with pretty much everything, and use a third suitcase for just the life jackets and swim masks and fins. My main carryon is a small gym bag with travel documents and stuff for the plane for the kids and myself (headphones, snacks, amusements, etc.); my personal item is my camera bag (being a photographer, this holds more camera stuff than the average tourist would carry). My husband’s main carryon is a small knapsack that holds the stuff that won’t fit into mine and the diaper bag. Since my son is toilet trained for solids, we might not even need the diaper bag this year (!) and just use one slightly bigger bag and stuff a couple of diapers and small pack of travel wipes into it. The jury is still out on whether we’ll even need the fold-up travel stroller (which we normally take right to the loading gate where it’s whisked away), but I’m currently leaning towards leaving it at home.

So that’s it. Do your homework, fully charge all your electronics before you go, take more drugs with you then you think you’ll need and fewer clothes, arrange for your mail to be stopped or picked up and your house to be looked after and have a great time!  (And seriously, I don’t mind sharing our packing list if you want it – just drop a line in the comments.)

Shawna is mom to 5-year-old-next-week Sage and 2-year-old Harris. She has been writing online since 2003, and her latest project is a photography blog. She tries to go south with her family every January.

A winter getaway with kids? It's all in the preparation. (Part I)

by Shawna This week we are heading to Jamaica. “Are you bringing the kids?” is a surprisingly-oft-asked question. “Of course!” is always the reply.

It’s true, travelling with small kids can be a challenge. When they’re very, very little it’s actually quite easy as enroute they just do the same thing they always do: eat and sleep and poop. You have the challenge of changing them in the smallest bathrooms imaginable, but other than that it’s pretty uneventful as long as they can be easily consoled by having their needs met. (This obviously all changes if they are sick and/or their ears get blocked.)

But when kids are old enough to be more mobile, and too young to be easily amused with books and colouring and the like for long, well, they get bored. And a restrained bored toddler is not a fun thing for anyone to contend with. Our toddler Harris is at just this age. We’ll see how he copes on the flight.

Fortunately, no matter how bad the flight I can console myself with the fact that it’s only a set amount of potential torture and then a whole week of warm days and food cooked for me. Also, typically, these flights to tropical destinations are packed with kids just like ours so we’re just as likely to get sympathetic glances as annoyed glares, and the glares will be shared by all the other parents of toddlers. But I digress…

I could write a whole post on how to handle the actual journey, but what I really want to share with Kids in the Capital readers today is the preparation involved in packing and getting ready for a tropical vacation with youngsters. Bear in mind that my destination is an all-inclusive resort with an extensive children’s program, and that we don’t really plan on leaving the resort much, if at all...

Gone are the days when I could see a good last-minute deal on a Thursday night, then throw my passport, a couple of bathing suits, a pair of shorts, sunglasses and a toothbrush into a bag and head out on Friday. (At least… I had that option. It’s possible my younger self wasn’t really as wild and freewheeling as all that in reality.) Now it’s all about the planning to head off disaster if possible, or be prepared for it if it does happen. I have a formidable packing list divided into whether items go in carry-on or get packed in checked baggage, and organized by person. I also leave an extra column to check off items as they’re packed. Yes, I love me some lists, and will add items that I know are already packed, just so I can have the satisfaction of checking them off right away. I won’t post the whole list (though will email it to anyone who asks me to in the comments), but am going to try to hit the main things.

First things first: immunizations and passports. Do you need the first for where you’re going or think you might want to go? You’ll almost certainly need the latter if you’re heading somewhere warm in the winter unless your definition of “warm” is drastically different than mine. It’s crucial to have some lead time with these items, since it can take awhile for a shot or series of shots to be effective, and Passport Canada has set turnaround times for documents. Don’t forget to look into visa requirements too if you’re going anywhere but the U.S. Want to travel with your kids but not your spouse? Always have a signed letter from the other parents saying you have permission to cross borders with them.

Other papers? Copies of your itinerary and tickets. Proof of travel insurance (yeah, you need this, especially medical with kids – the cost of tickets home in an emergency can be nothing compared to the cost of out-of-country medical care) and contact info if you need to use it. Copies of your kids’ immunization records may be handy, depending on if there’s an outbreak of something while you’re travelling. Photocopies of your passports that you’d keep in a separate place from your real passports.

Feeling extra cautious or just flat-out know that the place your going might be prone to some sort of disaster? Register your intentions to travel abroad with Foreign Affairs. You can do this easily and quickly online.  Just make sure you have your passport handy to fill out the required information to register your trip. A friend of mine also advises to let your credit card company know when you’ll be travelling and where, in order to avoid having a fraud alert pop up and your card temporarily suspended. I thought that was overkill until my husband got a cell phone call from his credit card company warning him of suspicious activity on his card in Victoria, British Columbia… where we were vacationing.

To be continued in the next instalment tomorrow!

Shawna is mom to 5-year-old-next-week Sage and 2-year-old Harris. She has been writing online since 2003, and her latest project is a photography blog. She would like you to tune in tomorrow for the rest of this mammoth entry.

Talking to Kids about Alzheimer's

by Laura “Can someone help us? Grandad’s stuck again!” was a common request from our kids. My Dad was the kind of grandfather that actually hid playing hide and seek with his grandchildren.  Inevitably, someone would need to help this enthusiastic 80+ year old man up from behind the couch or out from underneath a desk.  There was no way to discourage him when it came to his grandchildren.  He lived to see them laugh and marvelled at their every move.  It the kids wanted to dig for worms in the garden, he happily obliged. If they wanted to make a fort, out came the tools and they built something magnificent.  Together.

Three years ago, my father received the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. Finally, a word to blame the disturbing changes my mother quietly lived with for years.  He refused to believe the doctors and kept his health a secret from friends and extended family. Although we respected my father's wishes, we did not keep information from our children.  Kids can sense stress and anxiety.  We used simple language and reassured the kids with an open dialogue about changes with Grandad and our family.

I viewed the diagnosis as an opportunity for our children to see my husband and I, and our family, deal with sadness and challenges.  It was also a chance to show the kids how we care and support the people we love.

As my father’s symptoms changed, our children needed more information and I turned to a variety of resources for guidance.  The Alzheimer Society run excellent education seminars and support groups.  There are websites* with specific information about talking to young children and teens.  I also spent a lot of time at the library.

I found a children’s book “What’s happening to Grampa?”  by Maria Shriver. There are few books about Alzheimer’s geared to young children.  This is a simple story with lovely illustrations appropriate for an 8 and 10 year old.  This story provided the words I needed to explain the disease, experiences and feelings in a gentle but truthful way.

We sat on the couch, the four of us and I read.  Half way through my throat tightened and tears started flowing. The girls looked up when I paused.  I felt my husband take the book from my hands and continue where I left off.  He read the rest of the story beautifully.  After, we talked about Alzheimer’s, Grandad, sadness and the possible changes ahead.

My father used to read books and help my kids play board games.  Now they read to him and patiently talk him through simple games.  The kids draw special pictures and use photos in their art to help him remember. We visit him often in Long-term Care. We reframe our holidays, trying to celebrate in an institution and make it meaningful.  Every visit requires thoughtful discussion with our children explaining their Grandfathers words and behaviours.

Now we have to protect our kids.  They do not need to see the scary or ugly side of Alzheimer’s.  We never force them to visit or talk to him on the phone.  We reassure that Grandad loves them and that they are so special to him.  

Recently, we made a family decision to participate in the Walk for Memories January 30th 2011.   Our family relies on the Alzheimer’s Society for help, support and information.  The work they do in our community is invaluable and I am grateful.

We are raising money and walking in this fun family event to raise awareness, support vital programs and a cure.  If you ask our kids why we are participating, they will tell you one reason – Grandad.

I wish I had a plan about how we manage the last stages of this disease.  I do know we will continue to advocate and support my father. We will get through it, together.  I also know we will never forget Grandad.  We will hold and treasure our memories of a great man.

Laura is a wife and Mother to beautiful 8 and 10 year old girls.  She describes herself as an eco-advocate and moderate neat freak with a recessive frugal gene.  Laura provides light-hearted commentary for every day, practical green living on her blog the Mindful Merchant.