What is a doula?

by Misty When you make the decision to get pregnant, you know that at some point, you’re going to be pushing a little human being out of your body. The realization of this fact often hits home late in pregnancy:

“At around 8 months pregnant, I started to become anxious about the labour and birth process. What had I gotten myself into? Everywhere I turned there were horror stories about labour – all you needed to do was watch TLC for an afternoon, and you’d soon be thinking that every birth story is an emergency.”

Sound familiar? What if there were women out there who could tell you that birth can be exciting, magical, and really, not that bad!?  Good news! They exist, and they’re called doulas!

What’s a doula? I know, it’s a funny word. It essentially means “womanly servant.” A doula is someone who guides a woman and her partner through the birth of their child. In addition, doulas provide essential prenatal support and education, as well as postpartum wisdom to get you through those first hectic weeks.

Well, I have a midwife, so do I really need a doula? Midwives care for the medical aspect of your pregnancy and birth. Doulas have no medical role, and are entirely devoted to supporting, reassuring and comforting you and your partner. Midwives find doulas to be extremely helpful for their clients, as they are often busy with paperwork and monitoring.

But what can a doula do for me? Picture this: it’s 2am, and you’ve been woken up with mild cramping, which you’re timing at about 10min apart. It’s too early to call your midwife or go to the hospital, but you’re anxious and have a lot of questions. So you call your doula! She’ll chat with you over the phone and make suggestions, or come right over to your house if you need her. As contractions become more intense, a doula will give you a massage, do relaxation exercises with you, suggest position changes, and get you water and food if you so desire. She stays with you for your entire labour (even if it’s 24 hours!) and ensures you are comfortable and resting before she leaves.

I want an epidural, so I don’t need a doula Doulas can be supportive, regardless of whether you are planning to labour naturally or with the use of pharmaceuticals. You generally need to reach 4cm dilation before a hospital will administer an epidural, so there are quite a few hours where you will need to use alternative coping strategies for your pain. As well, doulas can reduce the increased risk of vacuum/forceps delivery or caesarean section by helping you change positions in bed.

My husband is going to be my birth coach A doula never replaces the role of a husband or partner. Even though you get to know and trust your doula, your hubby will help you to relax and feel safe. However, your partner is only human, and he will need to take breaks! A doula is there to provide some relief for Dad, and to help comfort and reassure him that things are progressing normally.

As long as women have been giving birth, doulas have been around to provide support – often they were a relative or good friend who had experienced childbirth themselves. Nowadays, we tend to live far away from our families, and fee-for-service doulas have taken their place. If the cost is prohibitive, consider creating a “doula fund” for your baby shower, find a doula-in-training or one that offers their services on a sliding scale.

If you’re pregnant and feeling anxious, turn off the TV and give a doula a call! Before you know it, you’ll be holding a little babe in your arms and saying “that wasn’t so bad!”

Misty is a local doula who lives in Orleans with her husband and 2yo daughter. She claims that birth is “not that bad.” You can find out more about her at www.chickadeechildbirth.com

Best Apps for Kids –Alexandre Minard

by Kari If you read my earlier post, Best Apps for Kids - Toddlers, there were several great suggestions for toddlers and more from fellow Kids In the Capital readers.  One in particular caught my eye, FW Deluxe.  Within a month of our iPad purchase, I was told at a BBQ that I *had* to get First Words.  No problem.  Um, which one?  I downloaded a smattering of lite or sampler versions, including FirstWords Sampler, First Words Lite, and then I fell in love with Alexandre Minard.

As I love free, I initially downloaded the Alexandre Minard’s My First Words Animals lite – the English, French, Spanish, and Italian versions.  Eventually, I laid down my $1.99 for the entire My First Words collection.  Yes, I did the same for the Mes Premiers Mots and Mis Primeras Palabras.  The graphics are fun, the sound effects cute, and the clincher - there are three difficulty levels.  My toddler can play on the simplest level, my five year-old the second level, and my older nieces and nephews use it on the hardest level.

Once I discovered my love for Alexandre, I had to see more.  My next purchase would be Animal Matching for Kids, a worthwhile purchase at $1.99.  In an effort to curb my spending, I downloaded the lite version of My First Puzzles and My First Puzzles:  Circus.  I lasted a week before I caved and bought the full versions!

At this point, developers began to build In-App Purchase capabilities in their apps.  Alexandre Minard is no exception; you may download almost all their apps for free but you will only get a subset of the functionality.  In the My First Puzzles line, it appears standard to get two of the puzzles unlocked.  As a word of caution, it may be best for all involved to disable In-App purchases under Settings -> General -> Restrictions.  If you want to upgrade, it only requires a few taps, your password, and a minimum of $1.99.  Four months post-download, my children continue to happily play the limited versions of My First Puzzles Numbers, Alphabet, Dinosaurs, and Snakes!

Do you have a favourite Developer or Series? Let us know.

Kari is the mom of two girls, a 5 year old and a 1 year old.  She can be found frequenting free activities throughout the city in hopes it’ll tire them out enough to sleep through the night.

Best Apps for Kids - Toddlers

By Kari If you’ve been overwhelmed Apple Store’s Apps for Moms & Dads offerings, you are most likely not alone.  There are literally thousands of iPhone and iPad applications for children available, why would you want to purchase them?  And which ones are the best…or atleast recommended by one Kids In the Capital Mom?

The iPhone or iPad can save your sanity; it is the ice cream bribe without the mess.  It can make long haul flights or car trips a piece of cake, our daughter was a dream during 30 hours of transit to South Africa and I give credit to the iPad. When your favorite restaurant has dropped the ball, and your dinner out is approaching two hours, the iPhone will save you.  And when waiting at emergency at CHEO, it can be the distraction your child needs.  I’m not advocating the purchase of an iPhone or iPad for your children, merely encouraging you to leverage your iPhone or iPad in your bag of tricks with the download or purchase of a few apps. Best Apps for Toddlers (1 & Up)

• Wheels on the Bus is an interactive representation of the classic song; With the flick, slide, or tap of a finger, you can open the doors, swish the wipers, or cause a bit of mischief on the bus.  Price:  $.99 and worth every penny.
• Old MacDonald is another interactive representation of a classic song by developers Duck Duck Moose.  Cows are abducted, pigs can paint, and the ducks have gone wild.  Price:  $1.99, but sadly not as good as its predecessor.
• Little Bella’s – I Close My Eyes is a whimsical interactive book about Bella & her imagination.  It also comes in a Lite version so you can try a scaled-down version prior to purchasing the full version.  Extremely cute and engaging graphics are used to convey Little Bella’s thoughts; my personal favourite is the very hungry monster.  He empties the fridge, and then swallows it.  Oh yes, my toddler likes it too.  Price:  $.99 and worth every penny.
• Giraffe’s PreSchool Playground falls in the realm of educational games; it encourages toddlers and preschoolers to identify their numbers, letters, and of course, Giraffe’s Safari Animal friends.  Price:  $.99 and worth every penny.
• Talking Tom Cat (and other offerings by its developers Outfit7) is the Angry Birds of the toddler world; Tom is your pet cat, he repeats what you say in a silly voice, he purrs when rubbed, and – much to your toddler’s delight – can be knocked out by your repeated taps.  Price:  Free, I love free.   And who couldn’t love this kitty?

What apps does your toddler love?  Share with us below.

Kari is the mom of two girls, a 5 year old and a 1 year old.  She can be found frequenting free activities throughout the city in hopes it’ll tire them out enough to sleep through the night.

Summer footwear

By Vicky Let's talk about feet for a minute. Kids' feet. Kids' feet in the summer. It's so hard to get it right. It's too hot for socks with running shoes. Crocs are a good option, but not great for running in. Some summer camps require closed toed shoes so flip flops are out of the question, not to mention they hurt little toes.  And what if it rains? Again too hot for rainboots, but sandles can get slippery.

I have a solution. The Keen. (No, not as in Capital Keen). A cool name, for a cool shoe.

I first heard of Keens last summer when I saw them on Lara's feet. (Yes! They make adult sizes too!) Then I saw them on her son Kiernan's feet. I would have bought some for Joel but we had already bought his summer sandals.

So what are they? Footwear that offers the support and protection of a shoe, with the breathability of a sandal. They have a rubber toe guard, and an antibacterial lining. No laces or buckles, they have a quick-lock toggle system (much like a bungee cord). They have excellent traction on wet surfaces, and can even be worn in the water!

Why did we buy them? I liked the fact that they were easy to put on (like Crocs) but more sturdy and durable. I liked that Joel could wear them to run around at the park like a running shoe, but that they would also work while playing at a splash pad. Also, I asked him what kind of shoe he would like, and he picked the Keens!

They retail for around $59.99, but are well worth the money. We got our Keens at Kiddy Kobbler Place D'Orleans (follow them on Twitter @KKPlacedOrleans)

Vicky is the mom to 4.5 year old son named Joel and 2 year old daughter named Mieka. You can read her blog at blog Some Kind of Mom. She is also an Independent Stylist with Peekaboo Beans. Visit her on Facebook for more information, www.facebook.com/ottawabeans

Potty training. Cold turkey.

by Brigitte There’s lots of ways around it, there’s a lot of different methods and tools– it can be fancy, but really it’s a human necessity and I don’t try to glamourize it with fancy potty’s or themed underpants or even absorbent pull-ups that look like jeans. I take it for what it is: the human need to eliminate. I’m not saying my way is the right way, the best way or the way that’s going to work for you – but hopefully it’ll give you a perspective and maybe even a method to try for yourselves.

I’m currently in the process of potty training triplets. My trio is 20 months old and 2 of them are just about fully potty trained. The first question I always get asked is “how did you know they were ready”.

You can go ahead and Google the signs of readiness, but I don’t really believe in them. My kiddos never held their bladder for more than 2 hours ( before being potty trained), they couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes and they certainly cannot pull their own pants and underpants down – but that didn’t discourage me, I just “knew” they were ready – I guess it was an intuitive mother thing, and maybe the fact that I was tired of changing diapers lol!

Before potty training and for their entire lives we’ve always been an “open door family” I don’t think I’ve ever closed the door while going to the washroom and the kiddos come in and out freely as I explain what’s going on and what you do – so they had been introduced to the concepts from early on.

When we decided it was time to train it was cold turkey. We used the same method that the Montessori school used for our oldest son (sometimes I joke that the tuition itself made up for the ease in potty training). Initially we wanted to just use the toilet (with a child size ring inside, not a fancy Dora one with handles and padding – just a plain $4.00 one from Walmart, this is peeing and pooping here folks not a birthday party) but because we have triplets this was almost impossible because they all wanted on the toilet at the same time, so we bought them each their own potty, again from Walmart for $12.00.

First things first. Get the diapers off. Gone Garbage forget about them ( except for naps) only underpants from here on in, no “well it’s just for a car ride” no “well we just have to go to the grocery store” get them off! Once you’re ready for that commitment for the first 3 days you bring the child to the potty every 15 minutes, you sit them down you say pee pee and you wait a minute or so – if they pee you say “yes, you went pee good job” and that’s it – if they don’t pee you say “OK, you don’t need to pee now, we’ll come back soon” – this takes commitment from you as a parent – you need 3 days at home, consistency is key. After the first 3 days increase the time to every 25 minutes for 2 days, and continue gradually increasing the time between potty breaks.

It will work. But you cannot go back. You cannot use pull-ups. Keep the diapers off for good ( except naps and nighttime when they are not conscious that they’re peeing…for now) Potty training I think is 80% adult commitment and 20% child readiness. You need to learn your child’s cues, you need to take the time to bring your child to the potty and you need to be consistent! It will work – and when it doesn’t you just need to say “oh dear, that pee-pee was supposed to go on the potty” sit them on the potty and say “Is there anymore pee” and finish off like that. During the first week I leave the potty somewhere visible and the babes naked so they can go and use it as they wish – and it works!

The hardest thing for me has just been preparing – keeping lots of back up clothing, change of underwear, pants - even shoes for any “on the go accidents” I’ve found that my wetbag from Spoiled Sugar has come in even more handy now than when I was doing cloth diapers!

What’s you’re biggest fear about potty training? Mine is bringing the trio into the bathroom while one pees and the others are touching everything in sight in the bathroom –ohhh that just makes my skin crawl! Whatever your obstacles are share it here – maybe we can come up with some awesome recommendations and help each other say bye bye to diapers!

Thanks for reading!

Brigitte is a stay at home mom to 20 month old triplets and a 5 year old boy and owner of www.spoiledsugar.ca