Surviving Surgery

by Amanda Frightening words that no parent wants to hear:  “Your child needs surgery.”  The immediate thought afterwards is “What if he/she doesn't wake up?”  To put the life of your child in another person's, a veritable stranger's, hands is an emotional mountain to overcome.

My son had eye surgery this past September at CHEO.  They have an amazing Day Surgery Unit team.  The hospital staff are what make the difference in providing that reassurance to the parents and to help them cope.  They are extremely organized and experienced.  Along the way they offer several opportunities for you to ask questions.

Word of advice:  write your questions down.  When you are under pressure or experiencing anxiety, you may forget something that is important to you.  There is always a preoperative appointment with the surgeon, you meet with the nurse the day of to take vital signs, they are a good source of information and reassurance.  There is a nurse who explains directly to the child using pictures and dolls exactly what will happen leading up to the surgery.  This piece is the most valuable for my son; he was included in every step. The staff at the hospital made the effort to speak directly to him, call him by name, and make every effort to make him comfortable with the whole process.   The doctors are an important piece of the equation.  They talk fast, but when were heading to the operating room, they introduced themselves, their specialty and the role they would play during the surgery.  They spoke to my son, asked him if he had any questions and answered him in a way he could understand.  In my son's case he had two anaesthesiologists in the room as well as his opthalmologist who would be performing the surgery.  He wouldn't walk with me to the operating room.  He wanted to walk with the doctors because they had blue pyjamas on, just like him.  Way to break a mother's heart!  Post surgery, there are two nurses in attendance in the recovery room to monitor his vital signs and make sure things go as they should after surgery.

I was not feeling nervous until the day of the surgery.  And then I didn't sleep, worried about whether or not he would wake up from anaesthesia.  The fear of the unknown is the worst kind.  I know, in theory, how things work and that this is a very common surgery that is done routinely.  This brought no comfort to me on that day.  Coping with the feelings and anxiety is half the battle.  It is very natural to want to avoid putting your child in that situation, but in the end the risks really are very small if your child is healthy and the surgery is relatively minor. My best advice to any parent is to not go it alone.  My husband was with me the majority of the time, he did have to leave to go to work while he was still in the operating room, but I still had his support, and he had mine.  Bring your spouse, partner, co-parent, a friend or family member.  Typically, you are only allowed two adults present the day of the surgery, no siblings.

Forty-five minutes when your child is under the knife, is an eternity.  Your eyes can hardly leave the clock.  Your mind tries to push it to go faster which is irrational but an uncontrollable reflex.  I was in the waiting room for ten minutes by myself when the surgeon appeared, stated the surgery went as planned, my son did extremely well, and he was sleeping it off in recovery.  I have never felt such relief, it flooded every part of me and I would have fallen if I had not been sitting down.

As for my son, he had it easy.  He slept through the whole thing, and as soon as he woke up there were offerings of juice and popsicles (he ate two!), and a movie to watch.  They called me as soon as he was awake, so for him, it was like I never left his side.  He even realized that daddy was missing and asked where he was.  He spent an hour under observation in the Day Surgery Unit and then were were able to go home.  Children are resilient.  I believe they cope better than we adults do.  Ignorance can be bliss, and it's better that way for a child.  I would rather suffer the trauma than him.

*****

Amanda was born and raised in Ottawa where she continues to live with her husband and son "J". Amanda is bilingual and interests include reading, blogging, socializing, and advocacy on children and teen issues.

Oh the Lessons They'll Learn

by Frank

It's that time of year again. As home-parents are falling back into their no-kids-during-the-day routines, the kids are back at school. Summer memories slowly being shoved out of the way to make room for science, math, geography and verbs. And that's just what they'll be tackling in school "A". It's the stuff they learn in school "B" that'll make or break them." What's school "B"?" you ask. We've all been to school "B". It's where you learn the big subjects; Courage,betrayal,friendship,fear,despair...and the list goes on. School "B" is known by many names, but for us today, we'll call it the School Yard.

Think about that for a second. What lesson from your childhood do you still carry with you and use on a daily basis? Is it the long devision, what Zr is on the periodic table of elements, what the capital of Botswana is? Or, is how to deal with someone pushing you around, playing fair with others or dealing with a broken heart more inline with what we do daily? The lessons we learn in the school yard are huge and they're the situations that we will continuously deal with for the rest of our lives. Wether you're in the school yard or at the office, dealing with a bully or knowing how to console someone when they're hurt are pretty handy skills to have.

The problem is it's not being talked about enough. Kids will go out to recess and experience stuff that they will remember for the rest of their lives. I can remember vividly a dodgeball game in the second grade (over 30 years ago) when I was the last man standing on my team facing 8 opponents. I was sure to lose. A crowd had gathered to watch me be destroyed. So when I picked-off the last one, everyone cheered and my team rushed me to pat me on the back. Pure awesomeness. Of course I also remember being so ashamed at being picked last for a game that I started to quietly cry and slinked away un-noticed. Not so awesome. These emotions can be tricky to handle as adults much less as children. What I would like to see is an hour, every day, of in-class time dedicated to talking about social situations. You might say that's a bit much, but I don't think so. I know the guy who cut accross four lanes of traffic this morning just to get a coffee could have used some lessons on playing nice with others or a quick lesson on not being such a (fill in your own expletive here). If it isn't being talked about at school, then it's us parents who need to pick up the slack, because the lessons learned in the school yard are the ones that matter most. I don't care how smart Billy is. If he gets to the school yard and kicks around kids smaller than him or if he spends the whole time sitting alone, wishing he were someone else...knowing what the chemical structure of water looks like isn't worth too much.

Need some ideas or a place to start? Check out this handy site on bullying: www.bullyingcanada.ca

Kids need to learn how to deal with everyday situations and emotions. These lessons are the ones we build on and shape who we will be as adults. Play nice with others? That's a good lesson. I use that one every day. It's been 21 years since I've used a long devision. I'm just saying.

So, which life lessons did you learn in the school yard?

Frank Burelle is a Husband, Father, Cartoonist and Photographer from Cornwall Ontario. www.frankburelle.ca twitter@frankburelle

How safe is your car seat?

In the Spring my husband was in a collision with two of our kids. I had no idea that car seats that didn't seem damaged in a collision needed to be replaced, especially not the one that sat empty. Rae gave me some great advice and I asked her to share some car seat safety tips with us here. Thanks Rae! ~Lara by Rae

You know, I've worked in the baby industry for almost a decade, though babies have always made my brain go a little silly and squishy.

I became a car seat technician in 2004 - more about that later. Let's go back to 2002:  We were 20, in university and didn't have a car. We were really mad that you had to leave the hospital via car with a car seat! We had no local family, and just took the bus everywhere.  Thus it became that we had a car seat for L (a bucket seat) that we used for other people's cars.  I had read the manual, but I was never quite sure I was doing it right.

When we got our first car, L was 14 months old. We got a new seat for the new car as she was forward facing (according to the 2002 standard). It was an all black Alpha Omega 3 in 1. It was the best bang for our buck.  I stored the bucket seat in the basement because I knew that we wanted a second baby.

Because having a car seat is mandated by law, I thought for sure there would be a place to have our installation checked.  At that time, the city of Ottawa ran inspections by appointment with a couple of firehalls. The list was always months long. I called A channel and complained loudly.

Sandra Blakie came to see us and did a lovely story. Alas less than 6 months later the city stopped doing it. I have heard many a tale of fire fighters that still do it, though their certifications are long out of date.

I was friends in University with the now Executive Director of Seats for Kids. We talked at length about my complaints and she convinced me to become a technician with her group.  I didn't even know such a position existed, but wanted to learn more! The night after my course, I went home and fixed my car seat.

Since then I have become an instructor in my own right, and now teach other people what I know.

I could tell you a lot of funny or horrible things I've seen since 2003, but instead I'll tell you the most important things you NEED to know about car seats:

1. The best car seat on the market is the one that fits your child and your car appropriately, and that you can use correctly.  What fit in your sisters 2002 car, may not fit in your 2003, or your respective children!

2. Snug is safe! Your car seat should not move more than an inch side to side at the belt path. Don't just jiggle the seat. Try to push or pull it firmly side to side to check.  Your child should also be snug.  This means no bulky coats, bunting bags or swaddling between them and the harness. Dress your child comfortably, buckle the harness and then put blankets or their coat over them.  You want the harness to always be one finger tight at the collar bone, and for the chest clip to be level with the armpits!

3. Projectiles. Look around your car. In a collision what is going to fly around? Everything. Purse, coffee cup, snow brush, lap dog (get a harness for your friend! Seat belts save!), toys, and everything else that isn't secured is going to hit things and people. Keep it in the trunk/get a cargo cover/minimize what you keep in the car!

4. Used Car Seats: please don't buy or use a car seat you are not intimately familiar with the history of even if there is a yellow sheet with a legal blurb and a signature saying it's fine or even if it came from your sister's husbands aunt. You can never guarantee it hasn't been dropped, or in a collision. It's also possible the seat could be expired or have a public notice.

5. Car seats are single user and single collision item. If there is damage to your vehicle you need a new car seat. If you drop a seat from 3' you need a new one - that's a collision. Your insurance will likely cover car seats. Confirm with your broker! If you settle outside of insurance, ask that the seat(s) be replaced.

6. Last but not least. Car seats are for cars and babies are for arms. Car seats have evolved, but they still keep newborns at 40-45 degrees so that they can both breathe and sleep in cars.  45 degrees for long periods is hard on little bodies and studies are starting to show flat head syndrome and SIDS on the rise as we carry our babies more in car seats than caresses. Use a sling, snuggly, Bjorn, wrap, whatever - just leave the car seat in the car!

I bet most that read this are checking their car seats shortly after. If you are not sure about your install or the age of your seat, Ottawa has some great resources:

Seats for Kids (SeatsforKidscanada.com) - a not for-profit, volunteer group that hosts 1-2 clinic per month. They ask for a donation of $20 for paper printing and water costs. Their clinics fill very quickly. They also teach courses once a month!

Ottawa public health runs a phone line and can help you find resources for a car seat if you need financial help. The city of Ottawa no longer offers inspection services in any form.

And then there's me! I'm kind of a Jill of all trades. When I left the insurance world in 2010 I decided to throw all the skills I had on to the table and start Chartreuse Industries.  To promote our Car Seat Inspection services, I'll be giving away 5 free inspections* valued at $30 each. Leave a comment to qualify. Extra entries for following @chartreuseindus on Twitter or liking their Facebook page.  Contest closes Wednesday October 12 at 5 pm.

85-90% of people have their seat installed or use it incorrectly. I hope we can correct yours!

*the fine print:

All winners must have their seat inspection performed by appointment at the Chartreuse Offices (Fisher/Meadowlands). One seat inspection per family. Additional seats will be charged at regular $30 rate.

Organizing for kids

by Heather I organized several day cares and junior kindergarten rooms this past summer and had lot of fun doing the spaces.

In case you haven’t been in a kindergarten room or day care lately, the area is divided into zones (see Julie Morgenstern’s Organizing from the Inside Out) or like mini department stores (as described by Janice Russell).

Each zone in the classroom can be mirrored in your child’s bedroom.

The Reading Zone is where books are stored. Make sure you have enough bookshelf space to put away all books - you might need to add a bookcase. For the younger set, put books in bins that can be placed on a bookshelf, so all the books don’t come tumbling out when just one book is pulled out or put away.

The Rest Area or bed has only what is needed for sleeping or resting.

The Clothing Area would be organized similar to your mudroom or front hall, where children hang their coats on hooks and put their outdoor shoes and backpacks in a bin. Easy-to-reach hooks, bins, and baskets make it easy for your child to put away clothing so it doesn’t end up on the floor. When children share a room, label each bin with the child’s name or photo so each child knows where to put their belongings.

Label toy bins with photos for non-readers, and when the child begins to read, use photos and names (in two or three languages if you wish). This helps associate visual cues with words and letters.

Or, as one of my nine-year-old clients did all on her own:

The easier it is for a child to use an organizing system, the more likely they are to use it and learn to apply organizing skills later in life.

Heather Burke Smarts Spaces Organizing follow me on twitter @Smart_Spaces find me on facebook www.facebook.com/smartspaceorganizing

Healthy School Snacks

by Maranda I rarely buy packaged snacks for my kids. They are generally not good for their health, our grocery budget or the environment. Instead we buy things in bulk and package them up in reusable containers, and I bake snacks for them to take to school. That way I know exactly what they’re eating, while at the same time teaching them to be eco-conscious and saving money.

This year I’m packing three lunches every day, so I’ll be baking an awful lot! I got a head start on things before school started and continue to stash things away in the freezer.  I know kids will get bored eating the same thing day after day, so I bake specifically for the freezer or I’ll bake a double batch of something and freeze half for later.  I try to keep at least two to four different items in there for them to choose from when making their lunch.

Wrap individual portions (one muffin, two cookies, etc.) in plastic wrap, then place in a freezer bag and squeeze the air out. Mark the bag with item name and date baked, and use within 2-3 months. If you make lunches the night before, baked goods will be thawed by lunch time the next day.

Here are a few of my boys’ favourite lunch box snacks:

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies: Truly a lunch staple in our house, these soft and cake-like cookies are delicious and freeze very well. The addition of pumpkin and white bean puree do double duty by making them super moist and sneaking in vitamins and fibre. The kids love them, and so do I.

Whole Wheat Carrot Raisin Waffles: These waffles are very dense, and my kids enjoy them equally well as a snack. I cut them in eighths with kitchen shears and freeze four wedges in a package. Also makes a great lunch; send a container of yogurt or apple sauce to dip them in.

Carrot and Ginger Mini Muffins: Yummy carrot, cinnamon and ginger muffins are delicious and pack a nutritional punch with lots of vitamins and antioxidants. Use the finest size on your grater so the vegetables are not too suspiciously chunky.

Cranberry Breakfast Cookies:  My four year old and I dubbed these “Bulk Barn Cookies” because that’s where we bought all the ingredients, and they do have a lot of ingredients! Loaded with oats, cereal (my variation, original recipe calls for almonds), sunflower seeds and cranberries these delicious cookies are a great alternative to granola bars.

And for the last decade I have been making these mini muffins regularly. I don’t know now where the recipe came from or what they were originally called, but they were a favourite of my son Julian since we was a wee guy and they’ve long been known as “Julian Muffins” in our family.  When he was in half day kindergarten we used to bake them together regularly before school, and he still enjoys helping to this day.

Carrot and Zucchini Mini Muffins

¼ cup (50 mL) vegetable oil ½ cup (125 mL) brown sugar 1 egg ¾ cup (175 mL) applesauce 1 cup (250 mL) grated carrots 1 cup (250 mL) grated zucchini 1 cup (250 mL) all-purpose whole wheat flour ¾ cup (175 mL) all-purpose flour 2 tsp (10 mL) baking powder 1 tsp (5 mL) cinnamon ½ tsp (2 mL) nutmeg ½ tsp (2 mL) salt

Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C). In a large bowl, whisk together oil and sugar. Beat in egg, then applesauce. Stir in carrots and zucchini.

2.    In another large bowl, whisk together flours, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.

3.    Fold dry ingredients into wet, until just mixed. Spray 2 mini-muffin trays (24). Spoon batter to the very top of muffin cups (they will be very full) and bake 15 to 18 minutes or until a toothpick or cake tester comes out clean when inserted in a muffin.

What kinds of snacks do send in your kids' lunches?

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Maranda Carvell is a mom of four, nutrition advocate and stealthy chef. When she's not blogging and writing for Pathways To Life, you can find her tweeting about family, gaming, Ottawa and more as @HotelQueen.