Flashback: Taking the mourning out of mornings

I just came across this post written by Carly a couple of  years ago. I need these reminders now that we're back in school routines! With the possible and occasional exception of my husband, we're not morning people around here.  I think I've mentioned that a time or ten in the past.  And now that the Little Man is back to being on the school bus every morning at 7:40 am, not to mention being gone for a whole day and therefore needing more crap stuff, I knew I needed to get my bum in gear so that mornings wouldn't be a nightmare.

I've got two and half months before my maternity leave ends and I'm back to work full time.  That means two and half months where my only task in the morning (is it terrible that I shudder a wee bit inside every time I type the word "morning"?) is to get just the Little Man out the door and on the bus, clothed, fed and watered.  Come mid-November I'll have to add myself and the Baby Man into that mix.

Knowing this, I started planning ahead for that eventuality.  I may have a hate-hate relationship with mornings (shudder), but I love me some organizing.  Here's what we're doing . . .

1. Must-Do Posters Inspired by a similar poster designed by Kids in the Capital mom, Kim-Anh, I made these:

They're on the wall between the kitchen and the powder room and the Little Man loves checking them every morning and afternoon to ensure he's crossed his "must-do's" off his daily list.  My personal favourite on this list?  Choosing his clothes for the next day the night before!

2. "Make" Breakfast the Night Before We've all heard of making lunches the night before, which we do around here too, but Mr. Tree was quick to point out how much easier it would be for the Little Man if we set out everything he needs for breakfast before going to bed every night.

Since the Baby Man wakes up at the same time as the Little Man, and still needs a grown-up to feed him, I put out what Jake will need for his breakfast the night before.  Thankfully Jake loves a good, big breakfast but dragging stools or chairs to the necessary cupboard to get everything he needs out in the morning is time consuming and leaves us tripping all over each other.  So his bowl, spoon, cereal and honey are put on the table for him, and the milk is left easily accessible in the fridge.  Whenever possible, I get his fruit and yogurt ready to go as well.

3. Making use of the Powder Room Like most kids, Jake is an easily distracted dawdler.  Imaginary friends can suddenly and unexpectedly pop out of anywhere, urgently needing his attention.  Sending him upstairs to floss and brush his teeth every morning was taking anywhere from 3 to 30 minutes.  So we put a second toothbrush (for everyone in the family), toothpaste and flossers in the powder room on the main floor.  Amid the hustle and bustle of everyone in the family getting ready, Jake finds it easier to stay focused on the task at hand.

No running back upstairs (to get dressed or brush his teeth) also ensures he doesn't get sidetracked by the ALL! THE! AWESOME! LEGO! in his room.

4. No TV in the Morning This was a tough one for Jake, as there's nothing he loves more than chilling on the couch first thing in the morning watching a fifteen minute episode of pretty much anything on Treehouse or Disney Junior.  Like a lot of children (and adults), the Little Man has a hard time focusing on more than one thing at a time.  Even having the news on while he eats is distracting so we're working on limiting TV even for the grown-ups to the first 10-15 minutes after the hour or half hour . . . to catch the weather and traffic.

5. No Dishes in the Morning If it doesn't go in the dishwasher (we prefer to wash some of our kid-friendly dishes by hand), it gets left neatly in the sink to be washed later.  Right now I'm doing those dishes once Jake is on the bus, but I plan on teaching my recovering perfectionist self to just leave them there until I get home from work.  Sure it's not always fun to walk in the door to a sink full of dirty dishes, but since mornings and I already struggle to get along, this works for me.

And one of the very important reasons I'm choosing not to do dishes is because I want us to have . . .

6. Ten Minutes to Hang as a Family As I write this we're only on the second day of school and so we're still working on this one.  I'm trying to make sure we're setting aside ten minutes in the morning to just touch base as a family.  Ten minutes for Jake to sit on the floor and be goofy with Noah.  Ten minutes to read a short story.  Ten minutes to express our hopes for the day ahead or just talk about a crazy dream we had last night.

I'm a night owl at heart so I'm always interested in what works for other families.  What do you do to make mornings less mournful?

Carly has red hair and occasionally the temper to match.  She loves potatoes, rainy nights, photography, her husband, and her sons Jacob and Noah.  Probably in reverse order.

Are you ready for back to school?

Some of us have already gone through back to school and the rest are coming up to it quickly.  I'm on my fifth year of back to school and I thought I'd share a few thoughts.  Please add any other ideas and tips to the comments below!

Clothing

• What still fits?  We go through a fashion show and get all the kids to try on all their clothing and depending on the kid, clothing gets moved to their younger sibling, or it gets put into donation or consignment piles (the older the kids get, the smaller the consignment pile gets ;)  It's a great time to purge all the stuff that doesn't fit any more or that has been destroyed.
• When possible, I try to get my kids' clothing used.  There are lots of great ways to do that in Ottawa, including great consignment sales (the Hot Tots is September 6 and the MBFA sale is on September 13) and there are all kinds of Facebook groups where people sell clothing, toys, etc, not to mention sites like Used Ottawa.  Leave a comment telling us what your favourite place to get used clothing is!
• Another great option is to have a clothing swap with your friends.  Kids go through clothing so quickly as kids and they play so hard in them, I'm all for keeping it as affordable as possible!

Making memories

I'm not always a super organized mom but the one thing I've always done is take first day of school photos.  I love seeing how the kids change over the years!  Make a point to take a shot on the first day of school.  We take ours in the same spot every year outside our front door.  The bricks really show how much they've grown from year to year.  Unfortunately this means we can't move until they're all done school now ;)  If you're worried your skills aren't going to capture the moment as well as you'd like, there are lots of photographers now offering back to school sessions too :)

Being mentally prepared

A lot of the hardest part of back to school is being mentally prepared.  Just remember:

• Breathe.  :)
• Don't sweat the small stuff.   (For all the planning I tried to do with clothing my daughter wore one of the most ridiculous outfits ever on the 3rd day of school.  If it isn't inappropriate weather wise, I just go with the flow )

Extra stuff

I asked people to share their back to school tips with us on Facebook.  Come add yours (or put them in the comments here!)

Want to share your back to school photos with us?  Do that on this Facebook post!

Bit of Momsense shares so great tips on back to school shopping and lunch ideas.

Happy back to school everyone!!

Eye Exams for Children

Did you know that eye exams are recommended for children as young as 6 months old? The Canadian Ophthalmological Society urges parents to seek an initial eye exam at this age to help with early detection of vision problems that can contribute to developmental delays, educational setbacks, and behavioural problems in children with difficulty seeing properly. Well, we didn't exactly make the 6 month appointment, but I finally got both girls in at 20 months and 4.5 years :) Although many schools and doctors will provide simple eye screening tests, a true eye exam should be performed by a Doctor of Optometry (Ophthalmologists are MDs who specialize in disorders of the eye, and you do not need to see one for an eye exam. However, you may be referred to an ophthalmologist in the event of eye disease or surgery).

A simple Google search will pull up a number of different optometrists. I screened through several of the websites, and found one that I liked just down the road. Dr. Bender was really welcoming and professional, and made my girls feel right at home.

The Dr. performed a number of tests, and they related to my daughter's level of comprehension and verbal abilities. My 4.5 was able to read letters of the alphabet, whereas my youngest is barely talking. I was amazed what the doctor could learn just by using various instruments!

So far, their eye health is great, with just a couple things to look out for down the road. It gives me comfort knowing that we've had them checked out. Most eye disease is preventable, and there are clear signs that doctors can spot during exams that you may not even notice. Just because you can see doesn't mean nothing is wrong :)

And bonus? Eye exams under 20 years of age are covered by OHIP!

Dula? Doola? DOULA!

The word doula comes from the ancient Greek language meaning "female servant," but it has come to mean a labour support person - someone knowledgeable about birth who will support the labouring woman and her partner before, during, and after birth. Anyone can call themselves a doula and often the woman's sister or friend will assume the role, but professional doulas are trained and some are certified by organizing bodies worldwide. Birth doulas provide information to the expecting woman during her pregnancy, emotional and physical support during her labour, and immediately after the birth. Postpartum doulas work with families in the 4th trimester (the first three months after baby is born) to help encourage, support, and provide information.

Now that we've got that out of the way, what do doulas actually do? Do you need a doula for your birth? What about after baby is born?

Let's talk about birth first. Birth doulas provide continuous support which has been shown to have many benefits including improved maternal and fetal health. Just how does a doula support a labouring woman? It depends on the woman! Some women need a gentle touch and encouraging words while some need to be left alone; some women like knowing their doula is there for ideas and suggestions; and some need a lot of physical support. Whatever you need, your doula is there for you.

Doulas are really handy when it comes to keeping mom comfortable, whether it's applying a cool cloth to the forehead, making sure the room is warm/cool enough, dimming the lights, suggesting different labour positions, or keeping mom hydrated and fed. But there are also things that are taught in the trainings - providing pressure on the back for pain relief, the use of a rebozo - a long, scarf-like piece of material - the use of a TENS machine, massage techniques and something called the double hip squeeze. These are only some of the comfort measures and tools we bring to each and every labour.

A doula can help you feel confident and empowered. A doula can hold your space and hold your hand. A doula can let your partner take a break. A doula can make a world of difference.

As for postpartum doulas, we joke that they try and work themselves out of a job. Postpartum doulas are there to answer any question relating to your new baby or your postpartum body. They are often trained to help with breastfeeding and sometimes baby wearing, cloth diapering, and can always find great resources in the community for anything challenging that comes up. They work with you to help you find your new normal, to find your rhythm, and to blossom into your new family unit.

Want to know more? Want to meet some Ottawa doulas in person? You're in luck. There is a FREE information session Tuesday, July 15th at 7pm at the Ottawa Birth and Wellness Centre. You can ask all your questions and maybe find a doula you like.

Hope to see you there!

Kamerine is mom to Little J and Little K.  She documents her life with two toddlers, a husband and a cat at The Life of K. Kamerine is also a birth doula, and you can find out more about her services at Tiny Feet Doula Services.

Non-Profit Daycare Centres

We all know finding good quality daycare for our children is a top priority if we return to work. I'm happy to welcome Catherine on the blog today, as she tells us more about her daycare experience.  For me, becoming a parent has undoubtedly been the most rewarding and challenging thing I have ever done. Along with all the many high points (first smiles, wonderful hugs, “Mommy, I love you so much!”) and low points, (the multiple night awakenings, tantrums) come the pressures and stresses of being responsible for another being. Especially with my first child, when it came time to make a decision about childcare I found the options overwhelming: nanny, nanny-share, home- based daycare, centre-based daycare, non-profit vs. private, English vs. French, etc. I barraged myself with questions: where was my child going to get the best care? What did this mean? Where would  she have an enriching experience? Where was she going to be the happiest? And what about us? What would make us the happiest?

In the end we chose a non-profit co-op daycare in our community 2 years ago, and are very happy with our choice. This was made even clearer to us when we needed care for our son and put him in a private daycare centre (he could not attend the co-op centre where our daughter attends until he was 18 months old). Our son was very happy at the private centre and he received good quality care from the educators, but it was in another neighbourhood - so we had to do two drop-offs and pickups everyday, which was a particular challenge if one of us was out of town. Our experience with the administration was very negative, we were rarely informed, and never consulted about what was going on at the centre. The fees were higher, we were expected to provide lunches, the snacks provided were often sugary and insubstantial, and the staff were not well treated or paid well, which resulted in a high turnover.

Our son joined our daughter at Capital Daycare Centre as soon as he was old enough. It was a relief for us to be able to walk our kids to daycare and spend less time in cars shuttling them around; something I am sure we will have to do enough of as they grow older and become more involved in activities. We were happy to have our children attend a centre with other children from our neighbourhood who they would also see at the park and on our street, making it easy to foster friendships with other families. As well, Capital Daycare has been providing child care to the families of Old Ottawa South since 1973 – that’s 40 years! And many of the staff have been working there for over 20 years, which makes it feel more like a family than a centre. As a co-op, the centre is managed by a Board of Directors made up of volunteer parents and staff, which gives parents the chance to be involved in the operation of the centre. I have enjoyed the opportunity to serve on the Board for the last 2 years. This has helped me to feel connected to the centre and a partner in the care my children receive, rather than a customer purchasing services.

Every family must weigh many factors when choosing child care for their child/children and make the best decision for their family. For all the reasons above, and many more, the non-profit co-op daycare in our community is the right choice for our family.

Non-profit daycare centres, such as Capital Day Care Centre, are increasingly at-risk of being pushed out of the market by private centres due to cuts in provincial and municipal funding. Our centre recently underwent a 5 year financial planning exercise which showed us that the centre will not be financially viable in 5 years if we are not able to significantly increase our revenue or reduce our costs. In light of this, the Board has decided to make fundraising a priority. We have our first big event planned for May 25th - see below for details. I hope you will consider coming out to help us support keeping good quality, affordable child care in our communities!