Connecting with your daughter: Mother/Daughter Journals

by Donna

I’m a mom of two little girls, 6 and 8. I was very close to my mom, and I hope to share a similar relationship with my girls. I read about Mother/Daughter journals somewhere online a while back, and the concept really appealed to me. As an historian by training, the thought of having a record of communication between my girls and I was instantly attractive. Also, as someone whose own mom passed away too soon, I would love to have such a keepsake.  So, one day at Chapters last summer I picked up a few pretty paper journals and tucked them away. I decided to pull one out this fall and wrote my daughter a short letter, and tucked it under her pillow.  I explained to my daughter that she could write back when she wanted, and could leave it in under my pillow for me to find.

My daughter seemed rather tickled about the process.  She asked me lots of questions: “Can I write about anything I want?” (Yes!); “Can I write whenever I want?” (Take your time!); “Do I have to tell you my secrets? (Only if you want to!); “Should I tell my sister?” (Let’s keep this between the two of us. She’ll get a journal when she’s older).

And then I waited.

And waited.

Weeks, a month rolled by. But one night, my husband and I went out for an evening. When I came up to bed, I noticed the journal peeking out. I was thrilled.  (I may have cried!) It worked. The journal has gone back and forth several times now, and my youngest asked last month if she could have one of her own (her older sister broke one day and spilled the beans). Entries from my youngest have been pretty basic as her literacy skills are still pretty rudimentary – but what great incentive to read and write! While the entries by my oldest have been mostly focused on discussions of Harry Potter, it is my hope that:

• The journal will provide a space to talk about potentially difficult topics.
• The journal will  let me into their quirky little minds (this is already happening – their observations of things make me smile)
• Writing in a journal will give them an opportunity to ask me questions about myself (how I wish I had the opportunity to do so with my own mom)
• ·We’ll have fun and strengthen our bond.

I wrote about the mother daughter journal concept in a facebook comment and it sparked a fair bit of interest. I’m eager to keep at it and see where it takes my girls and I. Maybe you’ll give it a try!

Let us know in the comments if you'd try anything like this or if you will!

Save money by using Flipp to price match

by Cheryl Snelleman

Mobile devices can do pretty much anything these days; you can use them as cameras, keep in touch with friends and family, keep your kids entertained while you run errands, and even track your health and fitness goals.  They're well worth the money you pay out to own them.  But your mobile device can also end up paying for itself when you use it to price match your every day purchases.

Price matching  is a great way to save money without having to visit every store in town, and it has become much easier to do with the introduction of flyer apps.  (Want to know more about price matching? Here's a How To guide I put together.) Flyer apps allow anyone access to any store flyer across Canada.  One of the more popular apps to use for price matching is Flipp.  This article aims to help people understand the app a little better in order to help make price matching less of a struggle.

About Flipp

First, if you don't have the app, you can download it here (Apple users) or here (Android users).

When you first open your new app, you'll need to enter your postal code or allow the app to auto-locate you.  This allows Flipp to locate stores nearest you to optimize your searching when using the app.  You then can choose flyers to save as your favourites- that is, they will be saved in your favourites section, available immediately whenever you tap the heart icon at the bottom of the screen.

Tapping on the magnifying glass icon will allow you to easily search all of Flipp's flyers either by store or by product, the latter being particularly helpful and one of Flipp's unique functions.  Searching for a specific product will bring up all the stores who currently have that item featured in their flyer.

Choosing an item to save to clippings folder

The Shopping List feature allows you to add your shopping list directly to the app, eliminating paper lists (which are too easily forgetten at home!).  When viewing your shopping list you have the option to view the flyers that feature your list item, or simply tap the checkbox to check it off your list.

The final feature on the app, and perhaps the best feature for price matching, is the clippings feature.  While you are going through the flyers, you have the option to tap on an item you wish to purchase and save that item automatically to your clippings folder.  There is sometimes confusion surrounding how to use this feature, so I will go into that in a bit more detail.

Using the app in store

When you're done checking out the flyers and making your shopping list, the clippings folder will provide easy access to all the items you wish to price match including the store name and flyer dates- most essential to the cashier when price matching.  When you arrive at the checkout, open up the app and go to your clippings folder.  You will find all of your items listed right there, and you only need to tap on the relevant item and show the cashier your phone.  The app will open the flyer and zoom in on the item you're purchasing.  When you're finished with one item, simply tap 'back' to go back to your clippings folder, and move on to the next item.

Your clippings folder- see the clipping icon circled in red

Most cashiers have experience using Flipp when price matching so you shouldn't have too much trouble using the app in-store.  They want to see that the store is within their price matching area (store name usually tells them this), that the sale is still valid (flyer dates show them this), and that the two products match.  All of that information is available when you show them your saved clipping, making the process of price matching using Flipp fairly straightforward.

Try out the app a few times on your own to get a feel for switching back and forth from one feature to another and it won't take long before you're comfortable enough to begin using the app in store.   It's easy to save a substantial amount of money especially when you have access to the best deals around!

Cheryl is a mom of two who blogs about couponing and saving money on her web site Thrifty Canadian.

Moms in the Weight Room

by Elaine

You just had a baby - you are exhausted, drained, emotional, and your belly is a lot flappier than it used to be. Believe it or not, this is the best time to start up an exercise program.  

After having my second (and last) child, I was determined to get into shape. I started playing around with the machines at the gym and doing my time on the dreaded treadmill, but I was not satisfied. I was also not ready, whatsoever, to set foot into the small, overcrowded weight room, which was mainly occupied by giant, spandex-laden meatheads.....BUT summer was around the corner and my local gym had a really good deal on Personal Training packages. 

I signed up. I figured my PT could show me ropes, and provide me with the confidence that I desperately needed to mark my place among the veiny, bulgy, sweaty specimens of the weight room.

Elaine's shirt: "Lifting More Than Babies"

I have now been lifting weights for two years. TWO YEARS! I have drastically changed my body shape from a party girl, beer-bellied, doughy shadow of a woman into a lifting, toned body that I can actually be proud of! I can carry SO MANY groceries! I have loads of energy to play with my kids, run errands, and clean house. My kids love watching me lift! What a great example for my boy and girl: Moms can have muscles too! I will admit that at first, the guilt of leaving the home to workout was overwhelming, but now it's routine. They expect me and encourage me to go.

With all that said, being a mom (or just a woman on a mission to live a healthy life) can sometimes make it difficult to take the initial steps into the weight room. It can seem very intimidating but I know you can do it! Here are a few tricks to help you dominate the weight room.

• Music - a blood pumping playlist and a good set of earphones are essential. It will help direct your focus on training and keep the distractions at bay.
• Information - not everybody has a budget for a Personal Trainer, BUT most gyms will give you a tour of the machines for free when you first sign up. This is a great opportunity to familiarize yourself with the equipment and gym etiquette. Don't be shy and ask a lot of questions! If you are comfortable enough you can also ask your fellow gym rat for pointers.
• Plan - you can do a bit of research on the net for workout programs and specific exercises. Just make sure that you are using credible sources. Knowing what you are going to do will take the guess work out of your visit to the gym.
• Form - watch youtube videos, go to the library, read fitness mags, follow fitness gurus on social media.....why? Because you need to know proper form for your individual exercises. Knowledge is power, and the more you know about your workout the less likely you are to injure yourself. This also helps boost your confidence when it comes time to perform. Some personal favorite sources of mine include BusyMomGetsFit, BUFF Dudes, and Blogilates. Every time I introduce a new move to my repertoire I repeatedly watch a video, study, and practice it in the mirror  until I am confident enough to try it.
• Be flexible - you have your plan, but you're sharing the equipment with loads of people. Don't get discouraged when someone is using the machine or weights you planned to use, just move onto the next one and come back when the equipment is free.
• Quiet time - no, you are not in time out. But if your nerves are getting the best of you, try hitting the gym during quiet time. You may be more comfortable trying out new moves when the gym is a little less busy. Ask gym staff when that time is. Summertime is usually perfect for in-gym experimentations since there seems to be a lower attendance rate.
• Men - men will look at you, so you might as well expect it. BUT, not for the reasons that you think. They are just surprised or impressed to see you, since the female population in this environment can be nearly nonexistent. No one is judging you. Repeat after me: NO ONE IS JUDGING ME!

The weight room, for me, is my sanctuary. It is my therapy. If I have had a rough day, which moms sometimes do, nothing soothes like pulling, pushing, lifting, dropping a heavy set of iron. The adrenaline rush, the pump, the satisfaction of doing something for me, by myself and separate from the home has made me way more confident and happy. Be brave, for the benefits of a hard workout can banish the newbie jitters!

Wowzers!

Elaine is a mom of two wonderful kids on a healthy lifestyle journey, studying towards a Nutritional Therapist and Advanced Sports Nutritional Advisor certification. Lifting heavy things makes her happy! Follow her on Facebook!

Toys Your Children Will Play With

I've never been a great housekeeper - I keep my home clean (i.e. I try to keep up with the dirt, spills and crumbs), but I don't do so well when it comes to clutter. And clutter is what seems to happen once you have children. It starts slowly - family will buy your child gifts, because hey, it's fun to buy for children. Before you know it your child is being invited to birthday parties and handed bags full of small plastic things that you step on when it's 11 p.m. at night and you're trying to find your way to the bedroom. The mountain of toys begins to pile up and soon you're feeling overwhelmed.

Chances are, your child is feeling overwhelmed too. Kids enjoy structure and order as any adult would, and they'll often play with toys that are in view, as opposed to the ones in the overflowing bins (the bins that were actually meant to organize your stuff in the first place).

Recently I'd had enough, and filled several big boxes full of toys that I knew my girls didn't play with. I took time to observe them in their play, and noted what they actually used.  The rest were donated to Value Village. The lists below are obviously individual and will depend on your child, so leave a comment and tell me what your family can't do without!

TOYS THAT WILL BE USED EVERY DAY

• Books: I realize these aren't exactly "toys" but they do take up a lot of space in playrooms and bedrooms. Choose books for the quality of their writing and graphics, and regularly purge the ones your child doesn't read.
• Crafts: playdough, markers, paper etc. We've got several craft drawers full of stuff my girls can access whenever they want. Paints are kept up higher so that I have control over when these are brought out

TOYS THAT WILL BE USED REGULARLY

• Play kitchen with fake food
• Cash register
• Child's camera
• Dress-up clothes
• Blocks, Lego, and other stacking toys
• Vehicles: cars, trucks, trains, tractors etc.
• Dolls
• Dollhouse
• Cards and games (only if parents make a point of playing!)
• Outdoor or indoor sports/active equipment

TOYS THAT WILL RARELY BE USED

I find these are the toys that come out whenever we have guests over. Other children are good at looking through bins and finding things your child hasn't played with in a long time. It's debatable whether you keep these ones around the house!

• Anything with batteries
• Anything that makes noise
• Ride-on toys (bicycles not included)
• Children's tents
• Year's "hottest" toy that you bought on a whim
• Plastic crap - this includes all random plastic figurines, jewelry, Barbie accessories

What would you add to these lists?

The Best Ways to Prepare for Life with a Baby

The other evening I had the pleasure of attending a Better Beginnings Night at the Ottawa Birth and Wellness Centre. This was an event that reached out to any person looking for more information about pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum resources here in Ottawa. We saw women very close to their due dates, as well as women and their partners planning for pregnancy. There were birth doulas, postpartum doulas, chiropractors, and various businesses offering information and free samples. This got me thinking - what are the best ways to prepare for pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum? I think we all know the more obvious ways to get ready: prep the baby's room, attend regular prenatal appointments with your healthcare provider, and purchase baby supplies. But research has shown that women and partners who are well prepared for the reality of postpartum life tend to fare better in terms of adjustment issues and perinatal mood disorders.

So as your "in-house" doula, I present to you the top tips for preparing for life with a baby (hint....this involves a lot of classes!):

1. Take a prenatal class - one with an actual live teacher. The City of Ottawa now offers a free online course, but research has shown that your interaction with a teacher and/or classmates will enhance your learning. You also want to make sure that the class you choose focuses primarily on labour and birth - stages/phases, physiology, comfort measures for pain and  unexpected outcomes.

2. Take a yoga class - start in early pregnancy, and continue practicing as much as possible throughout each trimester. You not only prepare your body for the physical rigor of labour, but you teach yourself relaxation skills (the KEY to having a healthy birth)

3. Take a baby/newborn preparation class - most of us have absolutely no experience with newborns before we decide to get pregnant. In order to be comfortable with all the challenges you will face as a new parent, you need to understand newborn behaviours, sleep patterns (no, newborn babies do not sleep through the night!), and diaper, feed and carry your child.

4. Make a postpartum plan - it sounds silly, I know. "I need a PLAN to parent my child?" Yes, you do...at least in the beginning. You will be shocked at all the little details you hadn't thought of once baby arrives. Who is nearby to give you support? How will you get breaks? Who will cook and clean the house? Walk the dog? If you take time to think about these things before you enter the postpartum phase, you'll feel less overwhelmed.

5. Take time to hang with your friends who have become parents. Ask them questions. Hold a baby, and offer to babysit several times.

The clients I work with who adjust the easiest to postpartum life are the ones who have:

- a lot of family nearby - husbands/partners that can stay home on paternal leave (if this isn't possible due to financial reasons, plan who else you can call on for assistance) - lots of experience with newborns - taken prenatal classes - lower anxiety due to proper physical activity, meditation or relaxation skills, and yoga

Did you adjust well to the postpartum phase? What made it easier on you?