Cash Flow

It feels funny to be writing this at 34 years of age. Long ago, I thought that by 34 I would have my life "together." Our family would be financially stable, with money to spend on small luxuries, vacations and home improvement. But here we are, still struggling. Not near the poverty line, but certainly not able to afford the luxuries we dreamed of. Like many 30-somethings, we're working on paying off a student loan. We're WAY ahead than we used to be, but not quite there yet. Luckily, we've managed to stay consumer debt-free (phew!)

I had heard of the TV show "Til Debt Do Us Part," but recently discovered the comprehensive blog and website run by the show's host, Gail Vaz-Oxlade. I decided our family would try the "cash budget" - when you use cash to pay for variable expenses (all of our fixed expenses still get paid online or by credit card).

We use envelopes, as I find the jar method takes up a lot of space on the counter :) We have separate envelopes for our allocated weekly budget (the numbers are spit out by the program, based on your income and fixed expenses). If we run out of cash, we just don't spend anymore. However, we've been cheating occasionally by borrowing money from "entertainment" if our "transportation" envelope is empty. That just forces me to go back and re-evaluate the budget, as it needs constant tweaking. You will often overestimate certain expenses, and underestimate others.

We're almost 6 weeks in, and this budget has been a game changer. We're much more careful in our spending, and I no longer make last-minute grocery shops on the way home from work (when I'm hungry, and more apt to throw expensive/yummy food in my cart). We try to drive less to cut down on gas costs, and we're finding innovative ways to purchase the things we need. Later this week, I'll share all of our tips for living on a tight budget.

Go check out the website and the budget, and tell me - have you put the credit cards away? Do you live on cash?

National Ice Cream Day!

July 20th was National Ice Cream day, and the Canadian Agriculture and Food Museum celebrated appropriately with the Ice Cream Festival! We arrived early, and thank goodness, because the parking lot was jammed by the time we left at 11:30 am. As museum members, we got to bypass the HUGE lineup, and headed inside to see the cows and horses. My daughters were worried about all the noise the animals were making, so we made our way over to a demonstration of ice cream making with an old manual ice cream maker. Nearby the girls could play with hoola hoops and make giant bubbles.

Of course, the highlight of the day was free ice cream, which the girls gobbled up (and I do have to comment that normally our family tries to avoid Nestle products for these reasons, but I made an exception in the interest of toddler meltdowns). There were also ice cream sandwiches being made in the kitchen, and the girls enjoyed watching the bees working away in the beehive.

A visit to the Canadian Agriculture museum never disappoints, and you definitely want to add this event to you calendar for next summer!

I said "no" and the world didn't end

I'm a Yes Person. How awesome are we? Ask us anything - anything at all - and we will most likely say Yes. Can you give me a lift to my appointment?  YES!

Are you free to babysit my dog? YES!

Do you have $20 to donate to my charity? YES!

We need extra volunteers in the classroom - can you do it? YES!

Instead of YES, how about "I'm just not sure!"

Never mind that the appointment is across town. Never mind that I have my own dog and two young children to take care of. Never mind that I've already donated hundreds of dollars to other charities this year. And never mind that I work three jobs and just don't have the hours to volunteer in the classroom. The answer is always - YES!

But here's the problem with Yes People. We say YES so often that we actually end up saying NO. But we say NO by cancelling at the last minute, forgetting appointments and social dates, or doing a half-assed job. The "no" doesn't come from an authentic place of self-knowledge and plain old common sense; it comes from a place of fear - fear of failure, fear that people will be disappointed in me, and fear that I will never be good enough.

And I've realized that by being a YES person, I also miss out on a lot of opportunities to give back in meaningful ways, because I tell myself I just don't have the time. For example, I've never donated blood. Can you believe it? Something so simple, and yet I give myself permission to be "too busy" for this life-saving gesture that takes very little time to do.

The lesson I'm teaching my kids when I say YES all the time is simple:

I don't have boundaries. I can't recognize when I've stretched myself so thin that I'll soon snap like a rubber band.

It's time for a NO revolution. Or - maybe a more conscious and mindful use of the word YES. Because although YES can be generous, loving and kind, NO deserves a whole lotta respect.

Have you practiced saying NO lately?

5 Things To Do Before Summer Ends

Summer is just flying by. Given that my daughter is in the French-Catholic Board, she'll be back to school on August 26th! Which means I'm starting to think about what we still need to do before summer ends, so that I don't wake up in October kicking myself for letting the sun and sand pass me by: 1) BEACH DAY. I just can't bring myself to go to a city beach for "beach day." I love Petrie Island (given that I live in Orleans), and support my city as much as I can, but until the Province and City of Ottawa clean up our water, I'm totally grossed out. Instead, we will be enjoying the clean and sandy waters out in Bon Echo provincial park!

2) FAIR. There are so many great Ottawa-area fairs, and we are definitely going to check out the Navan Fair on August 9/10th! Although my girls don't really enjoy crowds, I love that there are many different activities that don't involve the noisy midway :)

3) FARM. Although our vegetable garden is huge, it certainly doesn't compare to the greenery at Eco Honey Bee Spa and Gardens. It's my favourite eco-spa in the Ottawa area, and Deborah welcomes families to come check out her beautiful gardens, doves, chickens and rabbits. And as a bonus, we can take a walk through Kemptville and stop at The Branch for lunch!

4) MOSAIKA. We still need to get my oldest out for the evening sound and light show on Parliament Hill. I think she'll love it!!

5) POOL. I grew up with a pool, so it's slightly sad that my kids don't get to experience daily swimming in the backyard (although I'm not regretting the incredible costs and work associated with a pool!!). So before the summer is over, we plan to crash my friend's backyard and use their pool to cool off :)

What do you hope to do before summer ends?

Eye Exams for Children

Did you know that eye exams are recommended for children as young as 6 months old? The Canadian Ophthalmological Society urges parents to seek an initial eye exam at this age to help with early detection of vision problems that can contribute to developmental delays, educational setbacks, and behavioural problems in children with difficulty seeing properly. Well, we didn't exactly make the 6 month appointment, but I finally got both girls in at 20 months and 4.5 years :) Although many schools and doctors will provide simple eye screening tests, a true eye exam should be performed by a Doctor of Optometry (Ophthalmologists are MDs who specialize in disorders of the eye, and you do not need to see one for an eye exam. However, you may be referred to an ophthalmologist in the event of eye disease or surgery).

A simple Google search will pull up a number of different optometrists. I screened through several of the websites, and found one that I liked just down the road. Dr. Bender was really welcoming and professional, and made my girls feel right at home.

The Dr. performed a number of tests, and they related to my daughter's level of comprehension and verbal abilities. My 4.5 was able to read letters of the alphabet, whereas my youngest is barely talking. I was amazed what the doctor could learn just by using various instruments!

So far, their eye health is great, with just a couple things to look out for down the road. It gives me comfort knowing that we've had them checked out. Most eye disease is preventable, and there are clear signs that doctors can spot during exams that you may not even notice. Just because you can see doesn't mean nothing is wrong :)

And bonus? Eye exams under 20 years of age are covered by OHIP!