Tips for supporting a child with a needle phobia

Taking your baby to get their vaccinations is a simple process. You stick them in the car seat, drive to the doctor's office, and hold them close while they get jabbed. A few tears may fall (theirs and yours), but ultimately, it's a straightforward process.

Then your baby grows up.

Suddenly they're 4 and need their booster shots. And if you live in Ontario and happen to forget those shots (or neglect to update Public Health), your child could be suspended from school.

Most kids make a fuss about vaccinations - who can blame them? It's certainly counterintuitive to sit still while someone wants to jab you with a sharp object. But there are strategies that can help to reduce a child's anxiety, and the nurse will complete the deed without too much fuss.

Unless you have a child with a real phobia of needles. 

Signs your child may have a needle phobia

• They refuse to talk about needles, and get very anxious when you try to bring up the subject. Reading cute kids books about getting your shots doesn't help the situation.
• When you attempt to take them to the doctor, they cry all the way to the office, and don't let up
• Candy bribes do not work
• When the nurse comes into the examination room with the needle, the child goes ballistic, kicking and screaming
• Eventually, the nurse gives up and says it's too dangerous to try to administer the shots

OK, I don't think this is the official DSM diagnosis for needle phobia, but it's the general experience we've had these past two years with my oldest daughter. We have made, in total, FIVE attempts to get her 4-6 year booster shots. Yes, you read that right. FIVE. And each of the first four times ended in frustration and tears for all those involved (except the nurses...they just seemed incredulous.)

Then.....this past week. We, finally, thankfully, blessedly, had the shots administered.

I wanted to share some of our experience on the blog to help other parents who might be going through a similar situation. You know your child is scared - but they're scared beyond what might be considered "normal." 

1) Make sure you have a good family doctor

When we were young and single, my husband and I signed up with an academic family health team. These practices are GREAT for most people - you are participating in a resident's education, you have access to a whole range of services, and you can get last-minute appointments. But then you have kids, and suddenly the whole process of being "practiced on" by new doctors is tiresome. The appointments take forever (because the resident needs to check back with the supervising doctor), and you end up seeing a different resident every time you make an appointment. Our daughter's fear was most likely exacerbated by unfamiliar faces and long wait times. So we found a new doctor! She's young and very friendly, and their offices are SUPER efficient. 

2) Use the #itdoesnthavetohurt "trifecta"

I learned about these 3 handy tips from Erica Ehm's Yummy Mummy Club, and they really changed our game plan. The first is something called an "emla patch" - it freezes the skin and makes the needle less painful (this is great for children who express fear of the pain and not necessarily fear of the actual needle.) You can get these handy patches over-the-counter at your local pharmacy. It cost me $12 for two patches.

Second, you use distraction. I love the idea of blowing bubbles, because it gets kids to breathe deeply, which we all need to do when we're anxious. We just ended up using the iPad and she got to watch her favourite show while she waited, and even during the administration.

Third, remain calm. It seems so simple, yet I could feel myself getting super anxious and tense during previous appointments with my daughter. I know she was probably feeding off of that anxiety. I was embarrassed, because I knew the nurses were frustrated and the whole office could hear the kerfuffle. But really, who cares what people think? Use your own mindfulness techniques to stay in the moment and breathe deeply.

3) Use a different adult

Kids often make more of a fuss when they're with mom or dad. Of course you want to be there for your child when they're afraid, but if they have another trusted adult in their life (e.g. Grandma) who is comfortable taking them, see if that might do the trick.

4) Don't give up

Children change constantly. What was a fear at age 4 may not be a fear at age 6. I do think this needle phobia will continue for my daughter (just because her reaction has been so severe,) but children with milder fears may forget as they grow older.

I'm so happy we are done with this round of vaccinations, and I pray that my daughter will never have health issues that require a lot of needles. But I know if that happens, I will have a lot of tips and experience to fall back on.

Do you have a child with a needle phobia (or maybe you have one yourself?) Leave a comment and tell us how you've overcome it!

*this article was in no way sponsored or endorsed by the #itodoesnthavetohurt campaign. All opinions in this piece are my own, and I'm not a medical professional. Please visit The Centre for Pediatric Pain Research to learn more

Cottage Cheese: Yea or Nay?

When I was a teen I babysat for a family across the street who had four children, all under the age of five. Can you imagine feeding that many kids? (ok, maybe you can if you have four kids!!) One of their favourite foods was cottage cheese - affordable, simple and packed with protein, the kids would gobble it up alongside their perogies and vegetables.

Me? I would shudder. 

I never liked the texture of cottage cheese. I always found it a bit slimy and lumpy. But when I hit my twenties and started to eat a healthier diet, I realized that cottage cheese was a great post-workout snack. It's packed with protein and added salt, which is great for those depleted electrolytes.

My kids don't agree - they won't touch cottage cheese when I try to sneak it onto their plates. The texture is definitely hard to get used to!

Gay Lea just launched a new smooth cottage cheese, and we recently got a chance to do a taste test! I was curious to see how this would go over in our house. Check out my daugthers' reactions:

This new product comes in three flavours: Vanilla Bean, Salted Caramel and Lemon. My family gave all of them a taste, and our favourite was the caramel. The texture is totally smooth, and the taste compares to greek yogurt - slightly tangy. And unlike regular cottage cheese, the smooth treat is sweet instead of salty.

My husband and I agree that one big plus for this product is that it contains 25% more protein than leading Greek yogurts (10g!) Our kids love their fruits and veggies, but tend to shun protein of any kind - so using these as snacks will make me feel better about my kids' daily protein intake.

Is there anything I didn't like about the product? I did worry a bit about the sugar content - 12g per container. But the snack is so filling that we only ate half of a container before wrapping it up and putting it back in the fridge. And as my husband pointed out, milk already has naturally occurring sugars, so the 12g are not all added. The product certainly doesn't taste like it has a ton of sugar either - more tangy than sweet.

In all, this new product was a win for our family, and I'll definitely be going out and buying more. Right now Smooth Cottage Cheese is only available in stores across Ontario - check in with your local grocer to see if they carry it!

Are you a cottage cheese lover or hater? Would you try this product?

Disclosure: I am part of the Gay Lea Nordica Smooth Cottage Cheese Campaign and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Kids and chores: what should they do and when should they start

by Lara

The longer I've been doing this parenting thing the more I realize that I still have so much to learn, and I need to lean on my fellow parents for advice and ideas. My kids are now 9 and 6 and while we've been pretty good at getting them to be independent (with certain things,) we haven't been great in other areas - such as housework. As a result, I decided to poll the Kids in the Capital community to see what they get their kids to do and how that works for them.

What chores our kids do

To start, our kids have been responsible for putting their folded laundry away on their own since about the age of 5. They are also responsible for tidying their rooms, but they do a much better job with parental supervision.

They pack their own school snacks but we handle anything that's hot, and they unpack their lunch boxes themselves when they get home from school. My nine year old started learning to clean bathrooms this past year and he is also a fan of vacuuming; but neither of those things is set on a regular chore rotation. They also set the table and load the dishwasher.

What do your kids do and what should they be doing?

I think what kids should be doing will change based on your family dynamic. In our house, the more that everyone chips in, the happier we all are. Unfortunately, we haven't been consistent enough about certain things and so there are a lot of battles. Lunches and setting the table go off without much of a hitch but there are fights putting away clothes and tidying their rooms. When these things aren't done, they lose privileges.

I have seen a lot of different charts over the years on appropriate chores for different ages and this is a good one.

Here are a few of the answers our community shared with us about how things work in their houses:

• The kids set the table and help empty the dishwasher. They're responsible for their school stuff and putting away their coats. My 10 year old does her laundry (I still fold) and will vacuum when asked. She gets $10 a month in allowance.
   
• My tween's daily and planned chores are walking the big dog, emptying the dishwasher, dealing with her school bag (mittens on heater, lunch bag emptied, etc) and dealing with cat litter box. She's also expected to do what I ask: pick up clothes from floor, tiny room, get her own glass of whatever, help father with dinner, etc. She gets an allowance of 5$ a week, but it isn't dependent on chores because I felt she needs to know that chores are just a part of life. I still make her lunch and do her laundry because I like doing that for her.

• My kids started young - I always find toddlers are really keen to do chores. We would have them do the easy stuff - emptying the (non-sharp) dishes from the dishwasher, dusting, and wiping baseboards. The "tidy up" song still helps my three year-old get in the mood to pick up toys. Now my oldest is doing harder chores, like cleaning part of the bathroom and even washing dishes. We also make tidying up a priority right before bedtime. We ALL pitch in and just get it done...because to be honest, I'm also leaving crap around the house too :)

• We approach it from the perspective that our family is like a team and everyone must contribute to help things run smoothly and to allow for down time/play for kids and grown ups. I think that in general we can be tempted to underestimate what our kids are capable of doing - perhaps because we want things done our way or because we're in a hurry. That's certainly been something I've caught myself doing and I try hard to let that go.

  Specifically, the nine year old is responsible for making his lunch, setting and clearing the dinner table, bringing his laundry to the laundry room, getting his breakfast and his brother's, and feeding the pets. 

  The four year old is responsible for putting his dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher, putting toys and books away, getting himself dressed every day (and changing himself when he has an accident), helping with baking (he loves to stir and wear the cooking mittens (oven mitts) and keeping us all entertained in the process. :)

  Other chores can be assigned as a consequence for poor behaviour or chosen as a way to make up for poor behaviour. If the kids want to earn money for something, they can choose to do other chores too.

The consensus seems to be that your kids should be doing something, and it can start at a really young age.

Should there be rewards for chores?

Some parents offer allowance in exchange for chores, others give allowance independent of chores, and some didn't comment on money. 

If you want to offer an allowance, try this idea: offer a weekly allowance that is independent of chores. Have a "base" number of chores your child does, but also create a chart that lists "extras." If your child independently decides to do an "extra" chore, he will be rewarded an extra $1 (or however much you have allocated to that particular chore.)

Whatever strategy you choose, most parenting experts will agree that tying rewards/money to ALL chores will not help your child develop the motivation to do them. After all, we don't get paid for chores as adults, do we?

Want consistency? Be consistent!

Seems easy enough, right? Children are little routine-machines. They thrive on consistent schedules, consistent guidance, and consistent feedback. Which sucks for those of us adults who don't identify with being consistent!

So if YOU have trouble being consistent, try these tips:

• set alerts on your phone as reminders. I find bedtime chaotic, but if my phone dings me at 7pm, I know it's time to put on a bit of music, gather the whole family and do the "tidy up" song (if they're older, they might just enjoy listening to music.)
• Make a chore chart. If you're a visual learner, it might best to have a large chart on your wall, with everyone's duties. A friend of mine has four children, and her chart is super simple - a regular sheet of paper stuck on the fridge with a magnet. It allocates some of the major tasks to each child on different days of the week.
• Make chores fun. Put on some great tunes to get everyone working a bit harder. 
• Break it down. Don't look at the hurricane that struck your kitchen and then hide in the basement. Start with one small part of the kitchen, and then move to the next. Jobs are much easier when we break them into manageable pieces.

What do chores look like at your house? How are your kids pitching in?

4 Ethical Children's Clothing Companies

Like many people, I was devastated by the 2013 collapse of the Rana Plaza factory in Bangladesh - over 1,000 people died and many more were injured. I started to question how I might be personally responsible for this disaster. In a global market, our consumption has widespread impacts with no accountability.

Although I am not a "shopper" (meaning, I find little joy in cruising stores and buying things for myself or my home), I do need to buy clothes for my growing children. Of course we rely on used and hand-me-downs when we can, but sometimes new is necessary (and funny story - my oldest has inherited a shopping gene that must have skipped a generation. She loves cruising the mall!)

I love this article by Annie from PhD in Parenting, which argues that a boycott of all clothing from certain parts of the world will do more harm than good. Because really, how do you know that clothing made in countries outside of Bangladesh is any better?

I started to do research on how I could invest in clothing that was ethical - from companies that engaged in transparent communication about where and how the clothing was made. I got a lot of great information from Emily over at The Best of This Life, and I'm highlighting 4 companies that would be a good option for parents who want to become more ethical consumers.

Kids love clothes that make them comfortable!

1) Zutano

Michael and Uli Belenky's first daughter Sofia arrived in 1989. Uli, a designer and art director, and Michael, a professional photographer, saw an opportunity in the children's clothing options available at the time, and went on to create their first line for Zutano. The company is still located in Vermont today, and the clothing is made in a family-owned factory in Macau - the connection between the company and manufacturer is a close one, with both families having raised their own children from newborns to adults together.

2) Peekaboo Beans

We've mentioned this company several times on the blog, and we've had the pleasure of meeting the owner and local sales representative Vicky Bisson. Peekaboo Beans is uniquely Canadian, with a focus on practical clothing that promotes children's play. They're transparent about their manufacturing process (clothing is made in China), and you can even view pictures of where the clothing is made on their website. Again, relations between the company and the manufacturer are close, giving a much better guarantee that standards are being met.

3) Tomat Kids

Tomat's clothing is made from 100% certified organic cotton, and graphics are printed by hand using water-based silk-screened ink. Clothing is manufactured in LA, in a sweat-free shop. "Tomat" is Indonesian for tomato, and captures the fun look of the clothing line.

4) H&M 

Of course, purchasing clothing from the States and having it shipped to Canada may not be your cup of tea. H&M is accessible to us here in Ottawa, and if you shop carefully, you can support their Conscious clothing line which are "good for people, the planet and your wallet." There are several commitments made by the company when it comes to this line, including the adoption of the UN's Human Rights policy. The one drawback is that the clothing is scattered throughout the stores - you have to be careful to read the labels.

Do you have a favourite children's clothing line? 

Winter is in the eye of the beholder

By Angèle Alain

I love winter. I’ve loved it forever. I love the fresh air, the brightness the snow provides, the calmness of the snowfall. I have wonderful childhood memories of running outside at the sight of the first snow, using up all the snow to make that one snowman then coming in, soaking wet, for hot chocolate. 

I’m willing to tolerate the blizzards, the shoveling and the driving to get the wonderful flip sides: the sports, the family time and the health benefits.

I’m aware that not everyone in Ottawa feels this way about winter. My Facebook page is filled with friends who huff and puff all winter about the weather. They genuinely hate it and wish they could live anywhere else. I wish they could too, as Ottawa isn’t the place for the winter faint at heart. But for those who cannot move, wouldn’t life be so much better if they weren’t miserable half the year?

Winter, just like life, is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

I suggest approaching winter as a positive person approaches life. I don’t like being unhappy. I dislike it so much in fact, I’ll trick myself into being happy if I have to –which is basically what meditation is. No, I don’t meditate but I’m a self-professed, unapologetic opportunist. I use every situation to my advantage, whether it’s visiting a friend who now lives in another country or using the snow for all it’s worth.

Our children learn from us, so if you are thinking of trying to enjoy winter instead of enduring it for the sake of your children, you’ll need a plan. Our trick is to do one of the five “S” activities every weekend, usually on Sundays. We don’t go out for full days every time either because we are genuinely lazy people; even thirty minutes of something makes all the difference. The “S” activities are as follows: 

1)    Snowshoeing
2)    Sledding
3)    Skating
4)    Cross country skiing
5)    Snowboarding or downhill skiing

Of course, we didn’t go out snowboarding when my daughter was two years old and I still don’t myself. We let her play in the snow while we shovelled (I guess shovelling could be the sixth S), we sled down our snowbanks or made snow angels and snow forts.

Getting started

Even adults need snow pants, boots and snow gloves. It is worth the investment. It’s hard to hate winter when you aren’t cold anymore

Snowshoeing

I call this the beginner winter sport. Snowshoes are easily found at second hand sporting equipment stores and used items websites. You can also borrow them from friends. Even when we don’t want to go anywhere, we can always go down to the park and walk around fresh snow with snowshoes on. We did that a lot when my daughter was smaller. I used to wear them to walk the dog before the plow went down our street. Nowadays, we drive a few kilometers to the river and share the trails with cross country skiers. On more ambitious days, we go to one of the many wooded trail in our area. Finally, when we rent or go to friend’s cottages, we always bring the snowshoes.

Sledding

There is no need to go to the crowded giant hill to have a little fun sledding. As I said previously, we used to sled down our snowbanks on our bum. Finding a small hill near our house was our next plan. In my neighbourhood, there’s one at a park at the end of the road and one by the snowshoe trails near the river. Tiny hills are wonderful because it isn’t a hassle to walk back up the hill. Winter has hassles built in, why create more? I admit we don’t sled much anymore that my child turned into a tween. But we still have plenty to do.

Skating

We put skates on our daughter’s feet for the first time at age three and it was quite a sight. I also had to bribe her with a Beaver TaiI. We didn’t go very far down the Canal - in fact, we mostly stayed around the Beaver Tail hut where the fire places are. She’s been skating ever since. Before then, we put her in a plastic sled we tied a rope to and pulled her down the ice. My husband, however, who grew up in St. Catharines, complains his feet hurt when he skates. So I don’t bring him to the Canal anymore because he doesn’t enjoy it. Instead, we discovered the Rideau Hall Skating Rink with its easy parking, heated change hut and old jazz music. But if we can’t get out there, or to the other city outdoor skating rinks (Landsdown Skating Park and Sens Rink of Dreams at City Hall), we head down to of our neighbourhood skating rinks. We walk to the park and skate around in circles for an hour before coming in and sitting by the fire with a hot drink.

Cross country skiing

I admit this is a more ambitious winter sport. We only started this sport two winters ago, when my child was ten years old. We could have started earlier, but we felt we had enough to do. We borrowed equipment from friends to try it, and when my daughter admitted loving it, I bought us used equipment.  We don’t go very often, maybe a few times during the winter, but that’s already three Sundays of winter that goes by fast. We sometimes just go by the river again, and sometimes we explore new trails around in the greenbelt. My husband doesn’t cross-country ski with us; it’s my mother-daughter sport. He has the next sport. 

Snowboarding

My husband loves snowboarding. I don’t. Yet, I was very excited at the idea of my child sharing something exclusively with her father. She tried snowboarding at age four for the first time. My husband went down with her on the kiddy hill while I stood at the bottom encouraging her to get off her bum. That year, she only went twice. The next year, I think she went once, but it was enough to give her a taste for it. In fourth grade, she was part of the ski club at school and last year, she snowboarded in Nagano, Japan. That was one of the only two times she went last year. 

Think about it: if you do three of these activities twice in one winter, that’s six winter weekends that will fly by. That’s more than half the winter! We usually start in January, as the holidays are too busy for anything other than building snowmen and shovelling. In summer, we count those precious weekends, feeling we don’t have enough of the total sixteen. Yet, there are no more weekends of winter. But when we have fun things to do during those weekends, we realise just how quickly they go by, and before you know it, the snow is gone!