The Soother Fairy Came!

This is my daughter with her soother.....about 3 years ago. She is now 4.5, and yes, still has (had!) a soother. I know, I can hear the gasps now. Trust me when I say this - the timing has never been right. This is a kid who has no other comfort other than her pacifier. She can take or leave any of her stuffed animals, and there is no special "blankie" in the house that is reserved for her. Her only comforts in life have been nursing and "suckie." And since we stopped nursing a while back, suckie took its place. She has been using it only at nighttime for the past year (and very limited daytime use before that).

My husband and I have been talking about removing the pacifier for a couple of years now. It hasn't been done for several reasons:

1. It works! She sleeps well with her pacifier and it means minimal hand-holding at nighttime.

2. Our dentist approved. I know - many other dentists will tell you that it's a problem past the age of 2, but our dentist was ok with us restricting daytime use and trying to encourage her to use it less during sleep.

3. We're lazy tired. We have a 15 month old who has not been sleeping well for a long time, and the thought of losing more sleep scared us!

But alas, the day came. Our dentist told us it was time. Our daughter bites down on the soother throughout the night, which has resulted in a big gap in her bite. This needs to be rectified before adult teeth come in. Plus, she's much older now and able to understand reasoning as to why it needs to go.

So with poking and prodding gentle encouragement from my husband, we came up with a Soother Fairy plan. Just like the tooth fairy, the Soother Fairy comes and takes away the soothers, while leaving a special gift in their place. Hubby went clothes shopping at Carter's and found her some really nice outfits we knew she'd get excited about. He also wrote her a special card, congratulating her on becoming a big girl.

It's now Day 5, and things are going very well. The only problem we've encountered is early morning wake-ups - without the soother in her mouth, she's having a harder time sleeping in!

Did your child use a soother? At what age did you take it away?

What to do when your kids won't sleep - a book that helped us

My 7 year old is a lot like me - a night owl. Every night he would lie in bed and wiggle around and simply not be able to fall asleep.  I sympathize 100% - I still feel that way most nights.  But while I sympathized it also made me more than slightly crazy.

He was up past 10 every night, impossible to wake up in the morning and a grouchy and frustrating person; we were all at a loss at what to do.  A google search suggested a book: What to Do When You Dread Your Bed: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems

I was honestly at a "what is there to lose" point so went ahead and bought it.  This book saved the day.

How it works

It's a workbook for a child so the kid in question should probably be in the 6-12 year old age range so he/she can work through it themselves and really understand the concepts.  It wouldn't work for my four year olds.

It goes through all kinds of concepts on why sleep is important, how habits are formed, and how to overcome fears. The best part?  It reinforces a lot of those lessons with MAGIC TRICKS!

It gets the child to make decisions about what will work and what won't and then they follow through an action plan of a consistent routine.

How are things now?

I don't know if this will work for everyone, but our son bought in to the logic behind everything and ultimately he was willing to implement the suggestions in the book.  It took a couple of months to slowly implement but we are now rarely hearing from him after 8:30 pm and he's actually usually asleep by 9.  He's become a far more pleasant person, often running around in the morning helping to make lunches and get everything organized instead of dragging around, crying and complaining of a stomach ache.

It worked for us.  If you have any questions, leave a comment I'd be happy to offer any extra insight.  If you had something help with getting your kids to sleep better also please leave a comment.  I know so many parents who struggle with kids who just can't seem to get to sleep.

211: Helping You Find the Answers You Need!

Did you know that in Ottawa, there is a number parents can call to find out about the different community resources that are out there? Until it was pointed out to me, I had no idea. In order to access it, you just call 211. With information on more than 56,000 agencies and services, 211 Ontario can help you find the answers you need, quickly and easily. Their phone service is open 24 hours a day, every day of the year, and is available in more than 150 languages. When you dial the 211 hotline, you are connected with a Certified Information and Referral Specialist who has been trained to assess your needs, answer your questions accurately, and advise you about the services and programs that are best for you and your loved ones.

Here's some info about 211 - an amazing community resource too few people know about.

• 211 is the 911 for people's every day quiet emergencies.
• 211 has been in place for 5 years in Ottawa.
• 200,000 calls answered since then.
• Expanded to Eastern Ontario in 2011.
• Now available across all of Ontario, 24/7/365 in 150 languages!
• For families and moms, it's the place to call to get connected to breastfeeding support, daycare options, chess clubs, day camps, March Break camps, special needs activities, and so much more.
• For women in the sandwich generation, it's the place to call to get help for a parent who may have Alzheimer, a senior who may need non-emergency medical transportation, home care help, etc.
• You name it, they will connect you to it.

Have you ever called 211? We'd love to hear your experiences!

Where There's a Will, There's a Way

By Brittany Fish, Barrister, Solicitor & Notary Public As a new lawyer, I decided what a better way to begin my career then to open my own practice in the community of Orleans. A beautiful area to live and a lot of young families. A great place for a young professional to launch a new career.

When deciding what area of law to offer my clients, it was surprisingly an easy decision. From the moment I became a lawyer I had emails and phone calls from friends and family asking to prepare their Wills.  I knew from there, Wills it is.

I am amazed by the amount of parents who feel they do not need a Will because they believe they have very little or no assets. Others put getting a Will off for another day, they seem to think I can get it done tomorrow.

You may not have an abundance of assets or own property, but if you have children they are one of the biggest reasons not to wait to get a Will done. If anything were to happen to you and/or your partner, you need to have a plan for your children, since you likely consider them your most important asset to protect.

Information regarding parents and the necessity of Wills is not discussed enough. Unfortunately, because of this parents are unaware of the consequences of not having a properly drafted Will to no fault of their own.

In short, here are the top three reasons to prepare a Will as a parent.

No Will equals no guardian

A guardian is someone you appoint in your Will to look after your children should something happen to you.  When a lawyer drafts your Will we assure the individual you want to look after your children is properly identified.  Your wishes in regard to how your children are raised can also be included.  If you do not have a Will the courts decide who becomes the guardian of your kids.  Unfortunately, it may not be the person you would have chosen.  Having a Will grants you this decision.

Happy 18th Birthday!

If you prepare a Will, you decide what age your children will receive their inheritance.   I am not sure about you, but I know when I was eighteen it is quite possible I would have fainted if someone handed me thousands of dollars. I would have proceeded to purchase a car that even now I couldn’t afford.  If you die without a Will the law states your child will receive his/her inheritance at eighteen.  You should decide what age is appropriate.

Where there’s a Will, there’s a way……...to distribute!

The law limits what a guardian can accept in terms of money when you die without a Will.  When you create a Will a lawyer sits with you and listens to your wishes and concerns.  We can draft a Will so that the distribution of your estate is done in a way you desire.  You can decide how much your child receives up until his/her age of inheritance.  This means, you can allocate money to the guardian for school and child rearing costs.  You may also decide on compensation for the guardian of your children.

There you have it, three of the most important reasons to prepare a Will if you are a parent.  Preparing for the unexpected is not exactly a topic of conversation parents or anyone in general want to discuss.  But the reality is, waiting until tomorrow may be too late. Every parent needs a Will.

If you have questions regarding the preparation of Wills, please email me at bfish@bflegalservices.com. If you would like to know more about Wills, please feel free to “LIKE” your lawyer at facebook.com/bfishlaw.

Question of the Month: Turning off the Helicopter Parent

Summer is finally here and in about three weeks, school will be done, the days will be longer and playing outside in the fresh air will be a number one priority for most kids. When I was young(er), playing outside meant roaming the neighborhood with friends until all hours with little parental supervision. It's not the same today, of course.

As a mom, I get how scary it is to let you kid go off on their own (or with friends). Whether it's to ride their bike around the block or go to the park with friends, the very idea of letting your kids out of your site strikes terror in the hearts of most parents. I freely admit that I am a helicopter mom. I have trouble letting my kids go off on their own and it takes a real effort for me to do so.

The questions of the month, then, is at what age would you or did you let your child go off on their own around the neighborhood with friends -- whether it was to the park or just riding their bike to a friend's house?

Please share your thoughts. This helicopter mom really wants to know!