Moms: the one thing you can do to save your sanity

by Misty Pratt

The other day I woke up early. It wasn't a "drag myself out of bed" morning. It was a "bounce up and sing" kind of morning - I was bright eyed and bushy tailed! I snuck around the sleepy house, taking a shower and preparing my lunch. By the time I was ready to head into the office it was 7:00 a.m. My husband and kids were still snoring peacefully as I quietly latched the door behind me.

"I'm at work early!" I thought. "I can actually get SO much done!" The office was quiet and dark (when you work for the gov, anytime before 8am is considered "early")

I checked my phone and saw a text message from my husband (Darcy is our dog, by the way):

I got a little worried. Why did he want me to call home? I dialed the number, and right away a plaintive little 2 year-old voice came on the line: "Hi Mommy! Why didn't you hug and kiss me goodbye this morning?" Soon it was the 5 year-old: "How could you leave like that? Don't you know you're supposed to wake me up to say goodbye? Never do that again!" All very tearful, heartfelt pleas from tiny little people that exited my womb not so many years ago.

My great mood crashed. The guilt set in, and soon I was picturing the day when both girls would be in therapy. "Our mom was never there for us. She would leave first thing in the morning, and wouldn't be home until late..." Drug addiction, eating disorders, bad relationships - I could see the future, and it was bleak. 

Soon enough I had whipped myself into such a state, I couldn't even stomach a sip of the Grande Caramel Macchiato I had so lovingly purchased from Starbucks.

But....suddenly I stopped myself.

NO, I would NOT ruin this beautiful morning when I was finally feeling bushy-tailed and eager for 8 hours of soul-sucking government work to begin. I chose to do something - the ONE THING MOTHERS CAN DO TO SAVE OUR SANITY.

I'm talking to all Moms - the working-at-home moms, the stay-at-home moms, the working-while-staying-at-home moms and the everything-in-between moms.

I let go of the guilt.

"But HOW, Misty, HOW can you so easily push this guilt aside and get on with your caramel macchiato?"

Recently, a friend (and amazing woman) told me something mind-blowing. Something totally life-altering, that I had trouble wrapping my head around it.

Guilt is a choice.

Yup, a choice. All that guilt we felt taking the epidural during childbirth, giving up on breastfeeding, feeding our child solids before 6 months of age, locking ourselves in the bathroom for moments of quiet time, shipping the kid off to daycare, neglecting to notice the time one kid broke their arm (ok, 12 hours later we figured it out!), shoving cookies into our children's small, pudgy hands so that they'd shut up for 5 minutes in the car, and on, and on. Just insert your reason for guilt HERE: 

And then let it go.

You can choose to feel guilty, or you can choose to get on with life, and let your children figure things out for themselves. 

Whatever way you have birthed, fed, diapered, clothed, or schooled your child, is the RIGHT way. Because you did it with love.

So cheers to a guilt-free life for all the Mommies out there...or at least until the next time the kid falls off the twirly slide and ends up at the children's hospital ;)

Buy Nothing Ottawa

By Andrea Lie

Imagine a world where a perfect stranger gives you a new bicycle for your child because theirs has been outgrown. A community where a neighbour comes over to change your tire for you because they saw your desperate plea for help in your time of need. Perhaps your money didn't stretch as far as you'd hoped this month and you need a gift for a birthday party your child will be attending. To your surprise, someone has offered you an age-appropriate gift because their child received duplicates at their party. And all of these donations happened simply because you asked.

It may seem far-fetched. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing these types of exchanges happen every day as a result of the Buy Nothing Project. This is a world-wide project on a grand scal,e which filters right down to sections of our own communities. To understand the vision and reason behind the project you can learn more here.

There are regular and weekly initiatives for giving in the Barrhaven group, of which I'm a member. For example, every Wednesday you are invited to post your "wish". Your wish is something you need or want. It can be an item or it can be a service. It can be something as small as a can of food or as big as a tent. In fact, there is no limit to what you can ask for. If another member can fill your wish you arrange for collection. There are also "round robins," which circulate through your neighbourhood and can include bags of clothes you pick and choose from, jewellry you sift through or books that pass through hands of those who signed up. You take a few and give a few before passing the lot onto the next person.

I've had so many wishes that I have been able to fill, and needs of my own that have been filled. Our garage houses two bikes that were given to us. Almost our entire camping kitchen set was donated to us. I have passed on bags of children's clothes to fit a child for every season of the year. I have given appliances, bags, decorations, picture frames and loads of toys. I return to work in the Fall and have acquired some appropriate work clothes as a result of a round robin. I'm of the mindset: give and ye shall receive. However, it is made clear that you do not need to give to receive. 

Have something to give? Take a photo of it and post it in the group. Give it a bit of time for people to express interest then choose someone to give it to. You can pick someone at random or choose someone for a reason. It's your item - you choose how to give it away.

There are a number of Facebook groups in Ottawa which you are free to join depending on your address. If your area isn't represented yet, you are invited to start one and the website teaches you how. 

To date, here are the groups available in Ottawa you can request to join:

Kanata – Kanata North 
Kanata – Kanata South 
Nepean – Nepean East 
Nepean – Nepean West 
Orléans – Orléans East
Orléans – Orléans West
Ottawa – Alta Vista/Hunt Club
Ottawa – Barrhaven North 
Ottawa – Bells Corners 
Ottawa – Britannia/Westboro 
Ottawa – Ottawa (Downtown) 
Ottawa – Pineview/Blackburn 
Ottawa – Riverside South/Findlay Creek/Greely 
Ottawa – St Laurent West 
Ottawa – St Laurent East 
Ottawa – Stittsville 
Ottawa – Stonebridge 

I invite you to stop and imagine something for a minute. What if this project became mainstream? What if, in the future, this was the first place we went to acquire something we were in need of? Imagine the ripple effect this would have on the economy, in our personal finances and in our community. 

The "back-to-school" financial burden is approaching  - what if we were able to acquire what we need through this project and BUY NOTHING?

A Trip to the Canadian Aviation and Space Museum

Ever since the Museum of Science and Technology closed for repairs, we have made the Canada Aviation and Space Museum our destination of choice for spontaneous outings. We are members of the museum network, which includes the Aviation, Agriculture and Sci & Tech museums in one membership.

I'll admit, the aviation museum was never one of my favourites. I always thought that it suited an older audience who could take time to read all of the fascinating information. Blowing through there with toddlers seemed pointless.

But a lot has changed over the past couple of years, and a recent visit was GREAT for the little ones - mainly because of the special activities that we've discovered. This summer it's Summer in Space, and the kid got to put on her own space suit and go into a giant bubble.

There are also printmaking workshops, and daily tours for the kids, specially designed for ages 4 to 7. And there's nothing cooler than sitting in the big airplanes.

My girls never miss their turn on one of the rollie-planes:

What I've also discovered is that this is a GREAT museum for the little ones because there is so much space (haha, kind of a joke, right? Space?) - the kids can run around all they want and get their energy out. There's never a worry about them doing damage to anything, as long as they stay outside of the barriers of the planes. The Hang Glider Studio offers respite for tired feet, and there the kids can play with Lego, read books, or put on a puppet show.

And bonus? Starbucks coffee in the little cafe....seriously, best thing ever for long nights and early mornings.

Even when the Museum of Science and Technology reopens, the Aviation museum will still be a place of great fun for my family.

Have you been to the Canadian Aviation and Space Museum lately?

Fringe Activities: Try Them!

With the fall schedule just around the corner, you've probably scoured the City of Ottawa Fall-Winter Recreation Guide and stayed up late to secure those perfectly timed swimming classes (yes, the ones where your different aged children have class at the same time).  Given the intense competition for your extracurricular dollars, some organizations are using free Come Try Events to spread the word on their programs.

Come Try Ringette

Four years ago, I was surprised to find myself a ringette mom after enrolling my eldest daughter in the City of Ottawa Ringette Association's Bunnies - Learn to Skate program.  She loved it, and I admit it was pretty adorable to watch.  

M & K have a little photo booth fun at the Purple Penguins Christmas party

As she graduated from Bunnies to Novice, I suspected her enthusiasm would wane with early morning practices.  It didn't.  In fact, this past season was her best yet - both on the ice and off the ice!  The constant improvement in her skills and knowledge of the game coupled with some amazing friendships that have blossomed have made ringette #1 in her world.  

My husband (Coach Dave) has even been known to extoll it's virtues at the risk of being shunned by hockey dads :)  

New players are welcomed at all ages in ringette, and my daughter's fun-loving, silver medal-winning team boasted four girls who had never played before.  If you think ringette might appeal to your child, several associations (CORA, Nepean, GCRA) have joined forces to promote the sport and with a free Come Try Ringette event.  It takes place Saturday, September 13th from 4-6 PM at the Jim Durrell Arena (1265 Walkley Rd).  As an added incentive, some associations have also introduced a New-to-Ringette discount.

Come Try Synchro

My youngest has tactile sensitivities, so ringette, with all it's gear, was out.  On the other hand, she swims like a mermaid and considers herself quite the performer.  Synchronized swimming seems like it might be a shoo-in, so we've signed her up to Ottawa Synchro's Dolphin program this fall.  If you think synchronized swimming might appeal to your child, there are several upcoming Come Try Synchro events.

• Ottawa Synchro will host free Try Synchro events on Monday, August 24th and Monday, August 31st.  These both take place from 7:30-8:15 PM at the Carleton Pool.
• Gloucester Cumberland Synchro offers free Try Synchro times throughout the season with three next week Tuesday, August 25th, Thursday, August 27th, and Friday, August 28th.  These take place from 7-7:30 PM at the Splash Pool (2040 Ogilvie Rd).

...and Join the Circus

Alright, neither of my kids have joined the circus and there is no try-before-you-buy event for the circus but it's so cool - I had to mention it!  Mini Cirque offers Circus Prop Manipulation Skills and Acrobatics on Tuesdays, from September 15th to December 15th, at the Glebe Community Centre.  Sophie Latreille is an engaging performer (for kids and adults alike), so I suspect this translates well for the program, which uses props and focuses on juggling, poi, flower-stick, hula-hooping and acrobatics.

There are so many great activities in Ottawa, but I really love the option to check it out prior to outlaying serious cash.  Some other considerations,

• Capital Wave is hosting an Open House on Saturday, September 12th at Carleton Pool.  It's an opportunity to try water polo, and meet and talk with returning athletes and coaches.
• Gloucester Cumberland Basketball Association is hosting an Open House Wednesday, September 9th 7-9 PM at Sir Wilfrid Laurier Secondary School.  
• Most martial arts studios around town offer some type of reasonably priced back-to-school or introductory offer.  In particular, Douvris and Ottawa Academy of Martial Arts seem focused on developing self-confident kids.

Do your kids participate in fringe activities?  Tell us about it in the comments below.

Petrie Island: Summer Fun

Living down the road from Petrie Island is wonderful - this east end beach is a great place to stay cool in the summer, and it also has walking trails and a Nature Interpretive Centre. Our location means that we can easily bike to the islands from our home in Orleans.

There are many things to do at Petrie Island:

• Check out the nature and interpretation centre - there are aquariums with reptiles, and samples of native plant species. For history and geography buffs, there is a lot of information on the history of the islands and how they were formed.
• Summer Children's Programs and camps: with hikes, crafts and other activities, kids will really enjoy getting to know the area. We missed it this year, but hope to sign the girls up next year!
• Hiking: 7km of trails with lookout points along the way
• Swimming: be sure to check the City of Ottawa's water quality reports, as Petrie is notorious for being closed :( C'mon river clean-up!!!
• Fishing: not something we've tried, although I remember attending an ice fishing derby one year at Oziles marina! 
• Paddling, kayaking: you can launch non-motorized boats at the free boat launch, and Oziles also has these boats for rent.

There's always a very good chance you'll spot a turtle at Petrie...especially if you check out the interpretive centre!

We've packed snacks and lunches, and used one of the many picnic tables in the area. And of course, the young ones enjoy time on the play structures.

Check out the Friends of Petrie Island for information on getting there. Parking is not free (boo), but biking is! I highly recommend you bike to Petrie if you live in Orleans (or further if you're up for it!) Our 5 year-old made it the whole way, with only a couple of stops.

Have you been to Petrie Island? What's your favourite part?