MWF Seeking New Friends

I am not good at making friends. Before Twitter I just had a small group of friends, but connecting online has brought me into a whole community. The problem is that the majority of the community I built as a mother lives across the city from me. (Stittsville–Orleans is not always doable, and once the kid starts school we're screwed).

It was easier when we lived a bit less west, but a year ago we moved into Stittsville, which makes even meeting centrally difficult when there pick-ups and drop-offs to manage as well.

And so I am trying to find a way to make friends, and find friends for my daughter and I feel like a stalker at the park.

Any time the kid talks to another child or seems to get along with them I have to try to find out a name, push myself out of my comfort zone and try to talk to the mother, and I've gotten friendly with a couple of parents, but then it's time to leave and I just can't seem to, as they say, close the deal.

After gymnastics last weekend my daughter ended up playing with another little girl while I talked to her mom. The girl is in the same class and we had exchanged pleasantries waiting for them to finish over the three classes they've had so far. It was thrilling to see my daughter play so nicely with someone, making up games, building sand castles and swinging. Behind me my husband kept hissing "Get her number!" – A West end play date! A friend!

In the end I suggested that next week my kid could bring her sand toys and maybe they could play again, hoping to build up a relationship and move things forward.

Meanwhile, my daughter invited the girl over to our house to play on her play structure.

So how do you do it? How do you 'date' friends for your children?

Amy is mom to two year old Maggie and a 6 year old schnauzer named Henry. You can read her blog at amyboughner.ca where she writes about motherhood and anything else that’s on her mind. She also shares a blog with her husband at boughner.ca where they talk together about parenting a daughter.

Question of the Month: Do You Let Your Child Quit?

This month has been a bit difficult for me as a mom. My daughter, who has danced at the same studio since she was three, has recently become disillusioned and has started balking at going to dance. There are many reasons for this the but the bottom line is that we are now one week away from our first competition and she wants to quit dance. As hard as it is for me to see her tears, I am making her finish the competition season. She can't let her team down, she made a commitment, I've already paid...there are lots of reasons why. She has reluctantly agreed but I still need to deal with the tears.

The question for this month is, then, when to do let your child quit an activity? Do the reasons behind quitting matter? How do you make them take responsibility for the "quitting?" (Sorry, I think that was 3 questions)

Please share your thoughts with us. We'd love to know!

But Mom Loves You Best!

  If your kids are like mine, you’ve probably heard the words “that’s not fair” more times than you can count.  As a mom, I try really hard to make sure that things between my two girls are equal. This includes portion size, one-on-one time, and even the number of pieces of new clothing they get but throughout the course of a day, there are so many things shared, both emotionally and physically, it’s impossible to be fair all the time.

There are times when I find that trying to treat my kids equally is a little like trying to stay on top of the water: the harder I try, the deeper I sink. So one lesson that I try to teach my girls is that fairness doesn’t always mean equal or the same.  In reality, they are both so different that it really is impossible to treat them both exactly the same anyway. I mean, as adults, do we really treat everyone the same? We interact, communicate and react to individual personalities and temperaments. Everyone is different, including my children.

I promise I really try not to compare them to each other. I know that they both have different temperaments and they both respond to discipline differently.  I try hard to pay attention to each of my girls for all their accomplishments and console their feelings when they fall short. I’m their cheerleader (equally) and I’ve even come up with a solution for the “she got more than me” conundrum (basically, one girls pours or scoops and the other chooses first).

The hardest part for me is when they accuse me of favouritism. I’m sure you’ve all been in this bind before. As frustrating as it is, I try to take a deep breath and rather than getting into a debate over who is more loved, I remind them that they are each irreplaceable. And while they may think that I am not always be fair, the truth is that I really do love them equally. Really.

How do you respond when one child accuses you of loving their sibling more?

Artkiving your kids artwork

by Lara I don't know about you but the amount of artwork that goes through my house from all three of my kids - from school, from daycare, from home, from playdates....  it's overwhelming.

As much as I'd like to be the mom who carefully kept the most precious ones and then put them into a nice album, I'm not.  So I did what I usually do to solve my problems - I looked up a solution online!

What I found was a great app - Artkive.

It lets me take photos of my kids'  art, categorize it by kid, and add comments.

Then, I can share it with circles of people.  I have my husband and grandparents linked in to the app and they get an email of the artwork I think they'd like to see.

The best part is one I haven't tried yet but that I'm really excited about - you can have them print the artwork into a book for you!

Check it out!

How do you guys archive your kids art?

Keeping Your Kids' Closets Organized

It always amazes parents that the littlest people in our lives can often take up the most space. Kids’ closets can be a challenge to organize, but some simple strategies can make it a little easier. Here are a few ideas to keep in mind as you set up and maintain your children’s closets.

1. Keep the organizing flexible

The demands on an infant’s bedroom closet are very different from those of a teenager’s, so make sure your set up is flexible. Some closet organizer systems cannot be rearranged once installed, but a product like Rubbermaid’s Configurations closet systems will allow you to add/move shelves, rods and drawers as your children's needs change. If you are looking for a more inexpensive option, free-standing bookcases or shelving units that you may already have in your home can provide extra shelving in a builders' basic rod-and-shelf closet.

2. Keep the organizing easy

Putting clothes away on hangers can be a challenge for full-grown adults – forget kids! Hooks are a great way to help young children take some ownership of their closet organization. Robes, belts, and other items can be quickly and easily hung on a hook. I like the 3M options because the hooks can be moved as time goes on, without a lot of damage to walls.

Open bins on shelves make it easy for children to pop items into their closets. Socks, underwear, small toys, etc., can all be tucked away but are still super-accessible. Part of keeping it easy is keeping it identifiable. Labelling bins and shelves (using photos for your little ones, words for older ones) will help keep like with like.

3. Keep the items within reach

One of the best ways to get your child to participate in organizing their own closet is to make sure they can access it. Keep the day-to-day items down low and the less frequently required items higher up.

A rod extension (the one pictured below is from Bed, Bath &Beyond) can double a closet’s hanging space in a kid’s closet AND make it more manageable for some children to reach their clothes.

4. Keep track of the inventory

Kids outgrow their clothes so fast, it’s important to keep track of what fits and what does not. If you have the space, keep a donation basket or box in their closet so any too-small clothes can be moved out of the regular line up. If the clothes are being kept for a younger sibling, use a plastic storage bin and pre-mark the bin with a label to designate the sex, size and season of the clothes to come. For example, you might write “Girls/Summer/18 months to 24 months” on the label before moving the box to your storage room. It will make is super easy later to pull out the correct clothes at the correct time.

Leave a comment and let us know what kind organizing challenges you face!

Heather Cameron is an Ottawa organizer with Edited Interiors. Contact her to learn more about how you can benefit from her real-life organizing solutions for your home.