Each one of my children is a beautiful human being. I love to spend time with them, watch them learn, and notice what they are interested in. I enjoy their company but some days I find this hard to keep in perspective because I’m just not up to it. This is when I try to remember that time is fleeting. While some days seem long, months and years pass by quickly.
As much as I feel so blessed to enjoy this time with them and experience how precious they are, what I really want is to ensure they feel how precious they are and get to know themselves really well. So, even though I want to give them confidence, love, and a feeling of worth what is more important is that they are learning to give this to themselves.
I would like to ensure that my children are not drawing their self-esteem from what I want for them but from what they want for themselves. They can do this by finding the feeling of confidence that comes from spending time with themselves and following their own rhythm.
This can be interrupted so easily by the busyness of life, rushing children out the door, and placing too much weight on socializing with others. You have the chance to let your children become strong in themselves before sending them out into the world. When they have a true sense of themselves they will also have what they need when it is time.
To help your children have this feeling you can learn to follow them. Test it out slowly by going at they’re pace just a little bit more often. This might mean going a little slower at times or speeding things up, giving them extra time to play around the sink when they are washing their hands, allowing them to take time when getting their chores done and taking into consideration their desired schedule.
Sometimes children doddle because they are enjoying themselves and other times it is because they are feeling controlled. When you follow them you learn to see the difference and realize that both are about needs that are important to them. Understand that they have their own sense of how they would like to move through their day and they often don’t get to follow it.
By giving your children chances to follow their own rhythm they are finding resources within that give them a certainty that the way they naturally move through life is valid and valued. By giving your children chances to enjoy time with them selves they are building strength in who they are. This is what brings them the confidence to be who they are, to be authentic in relationships with others and put themselves forward in all their endeavours.
Kaeli Van Regan is the founder of Living Inside Out. I combine my love of life and nature with education in Child and Youth Work, Life Coaching and Energy Healing to provide coaching to expand yourself and uplift your family. I live in beautiful Old Ottawa East with my husband and three children. There are tips and tools on the website www.livinginsideout.ca with a lot more coming in the next couple of months as information comes out about my upcoming book and program Parenting Your Way.